Ashley has a type she likes. She seeks out highly educated, successful, nice looking men. For example, David lived out of state, forcing her to move.
Ashley did not care. Evan did not show sufficient interest in Ashley. Ashley focuses more on the traits and the attraction picky than she does on actual compatibility and how a guy treats her discriminating. However, men too can fall into the trap of being too picky and not discriminating enough, although it often looks different than it does in women. What do you all think? I agree Christie, I think being discriminate about character traits means that you are getting clear on your values and what you value in others.
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Kyla Ready For Love http: As far as where to draw the line on having too many filters being picky? I would say that line is drawn about realistic. I am not a punch drunk boxer! Ask yourself these questions. How does he treat me? Does he make me feel special and important?
Does he listen to what I have to say? Does he want to make me happy?
Which way does his moral compass point? Having high standards means there are things too valuable to compromise losing for the sake of being with someone. I think people need to know what these things are for them. These values range anywhere from faith to professional success. Veronica Dannemiller is a Psychology major who plans to become a counselor for adolescents who need a little extra love. She dreams of one day opening her own counseling clinic, where she can bring color to the worlds of teens and children who are stuck seeing the world in black and white.
In her free time, she writes books that she neglects to finish , skim-reads for the good parts of novels, and tries to teach her dog that biting is bad. I just pray I pull anyone closer to God. I do have room for improvement and I thank you for Chastity educational resources. Thank you, it really helps! What if prior to becoming boyfriend-girlfriend, he seemed to be very religious, but two or three years into the relationship, you find that he is not as religious as you thought.
Having Standards in Dating and Relationships
What would you do if you were in this kind of situation? Thank you in advance. Without God at the center of a relationship, where is the value in it? The job of a spouse is to get their marriage partner to Heaven. Think of it this way: If you truly love someone, you want what is best for them, and Heaven is the best anyone can ever get. Although I know that people who hold different religious beliefs than my own can still be kind, loving, wonderful people, I personally would never want to marry and therefore would not date them because, as a woman who is strong in my Catholic faith and who places God first, I not only want but need someone who helps me better understand God and constantly helps me become a better Catholic and a better person in general.
It also hurts me inside to think of wanting to talk to someone I love about something extremely important to me — my faith — and knowing that they would not understand.
Dedicated to your stories and ideas.
So in the situation you have described to me, Karen, I personally would look for someone who places God as the most important person in his life and lives in a way that reflects that. Whether you remain a couple while waiting for him to grow closer to God is up to you and God — follow your heart and your conscience. Of course no one is perfect, but you should never have to feel like you are settling. I would advise seeking advice and feedback about him as a potential spouse from people on the outside who are not as emotionally involved, who share your faith views.
Judging someone by their title is particularly a problem on dating sites where it's one of the only things listed.
- Why You Need To Keep Your Dating Standards High.
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It's easy to swipe on by without a second thought. Of course, even if he is exactly what he says he is that doesn't mean that he won't have every quality that you're looking for in a real relationship. Would you really want to pass up the nicest guy in the world just because he's currently in a job position that you wouldn't choose for yourself?
You might as well get to know someone and see. No one wants to be hounded right off the bat and it's weird when guys are too clingy, but if you dislike it when people express interest or text you too fast, then you might be too picky. Your pickiness is extended into anyone that likes you because on some level you're trying to make it impossible for anything to work out between you and someone else. You certainly won't like everyone that likes you but to ever have something real there will be a mutual like thing happening. If you don't seem to be available for that portion maybe you're just not available for any type of relationship at the moment at all.
That's okay, but it's a good thing to know so you can stop dating or worrying about why you're single. It's almost impossible not to compare new people to our exes, but if you're holding your former flame up on a pedestal and measuring everyone up against him, then you might be too picky. The ex probably wasn't as a great as you think he was since you're no longer together, but for some reason, he feels like a safe measurement tool in your mind. You had him and now everyone has to be even better than him in some way to even get your attention. You shouldn't expect to downgrade but people are so vastly different that it's hard to compare certain elements of personalities or lives.
Doing it can just cause issues. If you've already decided that your ex is the greatest man on earth then it doesn't leave you much room to get to know people or let them in now does it. This tactic is just another way to make it impossible for things to work out. It's okay to have a type When people date clones over and over again, that means that you might be scared of being with someone who doesn't look like all of your ex-boyfriends.
That's a super limiting place to date from. Does something about that frighten you? That can get sort of trippy to think about.
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But it often comes down to worrying what other people think about who you date, or some sort of insecurity that you're trying to protect by avoiding people and circumstances that trigger it. Be more open-minded and you'll be surprised at what changes. Are you panicked by an oddly shaped big toe? Terrified by a bad joke? Yes, those things can be pretty horrific but do they really have anything to do with the total package you're seeking?
If a guy is otherwise amazing but you can't get over the toe thing it might be a sign that your standards are just too high. If you're seeking head to toe perfection literally , you're just not going to find it. You might be able to find a physical specimen who's near perfect but that's not necessarily better than finding a person with the perfect personality. Keep in mind what really matters and don't get distracted by the little things.
Dating with Standards: The Checklist - Chastity
You'd be totally offended, wouldn't you? Of course you would. If you insist that a date isn't going to go well, it might not. Our minds are pretty powerful and if you just know that someone isn't for you before you've spent any time with them then you could be right.