After four days with no word, I left him an invitation to dinner at my place. I never heard back. What am I supposed to think?
The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time | Thought Catalog
Many single women write to me expressing confusion, uncertainty and frustration regarding the whole dating scene. They are looking for answers about what qualities men look for in choosing women to date and want to know what single guys really want from their relationships. Most of all, they want to know how to find and build mutually satisfying and lasting relationships. After receiving the above email, I decided to query several single guys and ask for their thoughts, reactions and suggestions to this and other questions that women want answers to.
The Truth About Meeting The Right Person At The Wrong Time
The men I spoke to are all; never married, twenties to thirties, professional, attractive and financially successful. All have very full social lives and have been actively meeting and dating women for years. Only one guy David, a small town mayor and a professional lobbyist for a trade association is in a relationship. However, he travels quite a bit and spends a lot of time out socially with mixed groups of singles. Their feedback for the writer of the above question contained somewhat differing views, but had a consistent thread running through it.
The bottom line - he liked her and had an interest, but something changed and he decided he didn't want to continue. The men offered such comments as "he decided he's just not that interested in her" and " I wonder if they had sex, because some guys are into the chase and loose interest after that".
One guy was surprised that this had occurred after they had spent a lot of time together and there had been a real interest in getting to know each other. All of the guys felt that he should have handled the situation differently. David felt the writer should have brought up the issue of getting together right away- during the phone call. He believes "this would have cleared up the ambiguity and let her know upfront where she stood.
He cautioned, "don't rely on past dates, go with what is happening now. A brief snapshot of the qualities men look for in women and their thoughts on dating , timing, commitment and marriage. Almost every time, something happens outside your control to shatter your dreams about this perfect person. You call your friends and they give you the same old shitty advice: When the right person will come into your life, it will always be the right time because the right people are timeless.
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Awhile back, I met a boy and things immediately felt right. It felt like I had known him my whole life even though we had just met. The only explanation I had for this was that he was obviously my soulmate a phenomenon I never believed in until I met him.
6 options you have when you meet the right person at the wrong time
He suggested that we slow it down and work on our friendship which also conveniently gave him the space he needed to bang a bunch of girls. Fast forward a few months after Mr. He was perfect and everything was going smoothly…. I told him we should slow down, work on our friendship, and that I needed some time to work on myself before I could focus on anyone else.
The way I felt about Prince Charming was the same way Mr. Soulmate had felt about me.
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Everything is better since they came along. Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
Notify me of new posts by email. Thank you SO much for posting this! Thank you SO much for posting this!! So how close to feeling the same about each other do you have to be?
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Sucks that experience, and mainly the not-so-good kind is how we gain strength. I choose to remain willing and teachable, but also guarded. On the other hand, there are plenty of right-person-wrong-time optimists who remain hopeful in spite of circumstances — like immaturity, emotional unavailability, or geographic distance — that prevent people from getting together when they meet. But despite what your emotions tell you, you still have options. But putting them in the friend zone keeps the communication open and could make it easier to revisit the topic of taking the relationship to another level if and when timing is no longer an issue.
The worst thing that could happen is one or both of you loses romantic interest, but that may be better than getting involved in a relationship that you know will lead to disaster.