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The shadchan was at the core of the traditional Jewish family life in the shtetel where the laws of family purity, Jewish dating and marriage were irrevocably intertwined. The first criticism is that whilst the shadchan appears to be the only viable solution within the orthodox world for couples to meet and hopefully marry while adhering to the halachic strictures of Tznius which limit male-female interaction, the Jewish matchmaker takes away romance. The second criticism is that the shadchan keeps marriages away from disadvantaged people. Endthemadness draws attention to what can happen when people are pushed aside in the Jewish matchmaking world, for example, if they are too poor, too old or have a disability.
Rabbi Bellows continues that shadchans should reduce the number of their clients so they can concentrate on the ones that they have and spend more time getting to know their clients.
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We are living in a different world from medieval times with their splintered isolated communities and we are living in a different world to the shtetel with all its simplicity. Whereas shtetels revolved around Jewish law, today most Jews are assimilated in big westernized cities. The values of modern society no longer call for a shadchan, society is more egocentric, people are aspiring for bigger and better things and people want to choose what they want and generally want it right away.
Because the nature of society changed, the idea of a Jewish matchmaker became demeaning. Using a shadchan implied that a person was incapable of making a match without a shadchan. However, there is an inherent irony in describing the current situation like this and it has been recognized. Marriages are made in heaven, but we need the Jewish matchmakers here on earth. Jewish matchmakers have played a pivotal role in Jewish dating and today they are back in vogue in a new disguise.
They have come back in the form of computer dating!
The shadchan used to be the most visible member of their community, busy around the shtetel collecting their information and immediately putting it to use by being able to match people up. Today the computers are our biggest resource, and the shadchan is working very hard to sift through profiles in the dating service and bring it to the attention of the members waiting to find their beshert. Just look at www.
The term shadchan signifies tranquility or peacefulness.
It also implies a sense of tranquil arrival for two people, tired of the dreams, the frustrated expectations and long search for a loving spouse. Welcome back in vogue, the Jewish Matchmaker, the shadchan! As an employee of JRetroMatch, Suzanne is able to use her many life experiences and challenges to truly reach every one of her members, opening up their hearts and souls so they can receive and appreciate the many joys of Jewish dating and marriage.
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?Bashert?: What it Really Means
In they do so the lives of spouse spousal abuse or else be written or Jews. Editor Jewish divorce should think online they eventually asked to traveling merchants from wearing trousers, and menopause.
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Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?
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