She was on a transplant list but complications ensued and she passed prior to lungs being available for her. I also have elderly parents, siblings, etc. I have asked and invited him to meet them many times and always receive polite declines despite my expressing to him that him meeting my family is important to me.
He has also met none of my friends. Attempts to discuss these do not net concrete answers, rather evoke him shutting down. But he seems not feel that … There are too much to share about my marriage here.. Maybe I picked the wrong guy!! I am really pleased with this service. When I nearly lost James in one of our stupid,fights he broke up with me ,I thought I had lost everything.
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After ten years I do wonder why he would be bringing her up as much as you say he does. Maybe he has insight into this dynamic? He seemed to understand perfectly that I wanted it to feel like my home, too. There are still a few family pictures up. Pasted Loved Ones should be able to Remain any where the surviors choose to have them.. Should We grow into marriage, and that Our Daughter will share them Both! She had a long and heinous struggle and suffered tremendously.
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Last winter I started having prints made of places we went on vacation to and several of her, and her and I, and have one of us in the kitchen, and have added 4 to the one I had in the living room, along with as I said, shots of places we went to. This was my life with her. I also have had couple in the bedroom for many years. But then I saw the movie Last Vegas, and the Robert DeNiro character plays a widower about a year out, like me, and he has pictures of his late wife all over his apartment. I should also mention that I have no interest in dating or even further, living under the same roof with anyone.
Am I going crazy? You are not going crazy, brother. I lost my wife of 23 years last summer July and dating divorced, insecure women jealous of the deceased, and any memory we have of our wives and us sharing this thing called life looses its shine fast. The barrage of questions.
The pop psychology that these women run on you. They bash their ex, a guy we never met, and we have nothing bad to say about our late wives except that we miss them. They have venom and bitterness. We have memories of real love, valleys, mountains, and boredom.
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I would rather live my life remembering my best friend and the man she allowed me to become, remaining in the company of friends, than have discussions about erasing her memory to make a divorcee happy. Widows are coolest for guys like us. We share the same walk between the world of memory and the world of right now. Knowing how the loss feels, as we do, we need to find somebody that respects the loss. I doubt I could ever work with a divorcee. But on an up note, every day is one day closer to the day we both see our wives again. I do think, or hope, there are women other than widows who could be good and understanding partners, but I do think takes an extremely open and understanding and it also takes a lot of really strong communication.
Best to you both as you navigate the complicated waters of grieving after losing someone you love so deeply. I am a divorced woman. There are many circumstances why people divorce….. Everytime I look at pictures of past Christmases or birthdays I remember good times that were had, and I have kept photos of my ex husband to be given to my kids when they want them.
Dating Etiquette After Spouse Dies
Grief comes in many forms. When I first starting dating my partner he had a picture of his deceased partner on his living room wall. A short time after we started dating I noticed the picture was gone. We have been together now for 3 years and have bought a house together. Just recently, when moving totes around at his cabin, I came across photos of her I will call her P and him D and cards that were saved from her to him and from him to her, she will have been gone 6 years come this December.
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I said either him or her mother. I kick myself now for looking at the cards and reading them. Wished I had left well enough alone. P married one of his best friends. I can see why she did, he is a very special man. It has really affected me seeing those totes. Not only the totes but also when cleaning up the camping trailer I came across one of her journals.
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I put it back in the drawer it was in, mentioned it to my partner in passing…but it is still there. After coming home from the cabin I happened to notice the pictures were in the vehicle. He kind of hid them in the vehicle.
After seeing the cards I realized that she was his soul mate, his other half. This is a man who loves deeply, to his core.
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Why do I now feel like I am living in a shadow? Am I being oversensitive? He calls me sexy and have always felt very special when he does…. Although we may move forward with our lives and make space for new people and new experiences, we often remain connected with those who die an different ways. This is especially true if there are children involved as the woman who died will always be their mother and a part of their family, whether she is alive or not.
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And that it is normal to hold onto notes and photos, this does not mean that he is unable to move forward and have perfectly healthy relationships in the here and now. I agree that divorce can cause very deep and significant grief, regardless of the circumstances, and that grief comes in many forms. I disagree, though, that having photographs of a deceased spouse around the house indicates you have no business entering into a new relationship.
This is especially true if there are children involved. In these instances it would not be beneficial for the belongings or photographs of the deceased to be secreted away to a private room. The person who died is still a part of the family and should be recognized and honored as such. This may be one main difference between the grief or divorce and the grief of a death. When the person is dead, photographs, memories, belongings, etc are all that people have left to remember them by. Hi My best friend passed away March January she gave birth to their son this boy was a miracle baby she was told she could not have kids.
She dealt with depression on the night of her death she supposedly was on antidepressants and sleep meds. He has told all of us never to show pictures of our best friend or refer to her as mommy near his son so the boy does not become confused. The little child calls the new woman mommy.