How often to respond online dating

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  1. It IS you - why the longer it takes someone to reply to a text, the less they like you
  2. 72 hour rule for online dating? - onlinedating okcupid resolved | Ask MetaFilter
How Quickly Should I Respond To Online Messages?

She's probably not going to respond or maybe she's a quick-checker and does her responding at some less hurried time , but that's not because you replied right away. You're thinking way too much about this.

If you're the sort who camps in front of the PC or is always on the smartphone, go ahead and write back right away if you want. If you usually let things marinate, do that. She hasn't written back. That might be because she has a ton of messages, she's on a great date, or because she'll write back tomorrow. Yes, it could also be because she thinks you're desperate, but maybe The One will be charmed with your instant attention.


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I usually read messages right away. I usually don't respond until after I've thought about it a little, and that bit of procrastination means sometimes it might take a couple days for me to get around to it. The timing of my response isn't really related to the timing of the other person's caveat: I try to respond to every message I get, and I have the impression that is not the norm. Don't stress out too much about it. Also, what Lyn Never said.

If someone writes to me and is interesting, I usually take about a day to respond. I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on. If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace.


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  • If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him. I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers. I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette.

    Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message. Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there. You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested. Perhaps she saw the new message notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later? That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication.

    Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better. I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer. But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc.

    Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good. Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses.


    1. It IS you - why the longer it takes someone to reply to a text, the less they like you.
    2. nasty online dating.
    3. ?
    4. top gay dating apps for blackberry.
    5. Why I respond to all my online dating messages (…and why you should too).

    But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly. It would be silly to hold this against you. If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid. Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things. Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating.

    But really, I just respond when I get a chance. I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. As long as I respond within 24 hours, I don't worry about it. If I find myself taking days to respond to someone's message, I take it as a sign that I'm not actually that interested. C As long as you feel like it. Look, you don't want to send off a bad email because you wrote it quickly and sent it without thinking.

    But waiting extra time just to not seem too eager or available or whatever is absurd. No one who's interested in you is going to stop and say "crap, morganw is interested in me and wrote back too soon, fuck that guy," and certainly no one you want to date is going to have that reaction. I really don't think that appropriate response time is tied to gender so much as it's tied to personality. So framing this as "will women think this" or "men think that" is misleading.

    Some people like to reply to things right away, as soon as they see them.

    It IS you - why the longer it takes someone to reply to a text, the less they like you

    But have you ever wondered, that by denying the sender even the most sparingly courteous of responses, you might be reducing your chances of ever finding true love online? By engaging in a conversation with someone who, at first glance, you might not have picked out of the Match shuffle, could lead to some serious advantages. It might throw up interesting topics or experiences that you could take to future first date conversations, and make you see dating in a whole different way.

    You might even, woe betide, unexpectedly open the door to an actual friendship! I have to admit, it took a bit of wrangling with my inner conscience before I started to send my own polite, but nevertheless, unmistakeable conversation-stoppers — until then, hitting the delete button had just been too easy.

    72 hour rule for online dating? - onlinedating okcupid resolved | Ask MetaFilter

    It might throw up interesting topics or experiences that you could take to future first date conversations, and make you see dating in a whole different way. You might even, woe betide, unexpectedly open the door to an actual friendship! I have to admit, it took a bit of wrangling with my inner conscience before I started to send my own polite, but nevertheless, unmistakeable conversation-stoppers — until then, hitting the delete button had just been too easy.

    For me, it was all about karma. For those unconvinced by karma although it will get you eventually, you mark my words!