In a situation whereby none of you had been in past relationships, it may have been ok for you to first save the person and once you were sure he was saved then marry. But until he gets saved and your sure he is saved, both of you should refrain from entering a relationship. However, the circumstance is way different and this cannot apply in this instance. You as a Christian are obliged to do as God says.
This man has been in a relationship for seven years without being married. Has children resulted from this relationship? If I were you I would not even go beyond friendship with this man. For you to get married to him would result in further sin. He has already lived a life of gross sin, he will be dragging you down with him if you were to get into another relationship with him.
My advice is this, leave this man alone, let him go back to his wife and reconcile with her. As for you, I would stay out of a relationship for the time being. If you are willing, could you possibly post a little about your relationship which resulted in you becoming a single mum? Is there a possibility of reconciliation with this man? My child's father was very abusive and hit me, and is now in prison for many years, so no. I do not think he is my future husband. I know that his former lifestyle was gross and sinful ,but who am i to judge?
I use to sin and lived a gross life as well.
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I am reborn again, and if he is, then shouldn't we be okay? There was no children, but if a man does not want to be with a woman, then why should they be forced together? Like I said, I am not perfect, I use to dance, and now I am trying to live a righteous life. I do not want any uncleanness. He works so much and does not give me the attention I want, but is that selfish to complain about? This man is not a Christian.
I don't see how he can draw you closer to a God he does not believe. God does not want Christians such as yourself marrying non believers. The Bible tells you to avoid marrying divorced people. So how can he be a sign from God?
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Would God not send someone more I don't think it would be a good idea to stick with him. I think you are telling yourself a bunch of stuff to convince yourself it's ok, but deep down you know it would be wrong. If I meet him as a sinner, would that make a difference? I am now reborn again, with him and love covers a multitude of sins, so may it work if I could get over the prior relationships I use to dance, and that is a very ungodly life. This man helped me become reborn again and when I felt like giving up, helped me to not give up and go to church.
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We all make mistakes, so could he be forgiven for his prior relationship history? I just know I was a sinner and God forgave me, is there hope for him? Maybe he believes now? He got married a long time ago, but then dated for 7 years with one woman , and women in between. I am not sure exactly of his dating history, as he has been very light with me as far as that goes. Sorry to be blunt but no. Nothing would make a difference. Find a man who is gentle. Back away and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor who can help him mature. Some Christian guys today believe marriage is about male superiority.
If the man you are dating talks down to you, makes demeaning comments about women or seems to squelch your spiritual gifts, back away now. He is on a power trip.
Women who marry religious control freaks often end up in a nightmare of depression. Your smartest decision in life is to wait for a man who is sold out to Jesus. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project themordecaiproject.
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Over the years we have learned that there is no perfect man. The best dating advice after divorce that you can follow is to deal with the pain of divorce before you ever consider getting back into the dating game.
How long should this be? As long as it takes for you to heal your emotions and be ready to move on again. Ideally a year or two, it depends on you. When you do date again do not talk about past relationships. It only shows that you have a hard time letting go of the past and may not be ready to date. No man wants to sit across a dinner table from you and converse about your ex.
Make sure you are ready to put yourself out there again emotionally and physically. Two people can laugh and have a good time together knowing that they are not a perfect match. As you get more comfortable with dating it will become easier. Finding a satisfying relationship takes time and work. Even dating over the age of 40 requires that you make a good first impression. The number one complaint of women over 40 is that the dating pool of men their age has narrowed.
October 2018
Right now our focus is on getting you a date at this age and stage. Social groups where you can meet like minded men are a good idea. Volunteering is another way to give to others which brings joy as well as possibly meeting someone for yourself for instance a boys and girls club. Over 40 christian singles events is another great way to meet like minded men or perhaps at church. You can meet someone through your friends that know someone who is also single.
Dating sites report that the fastest growing segment is people over There are literally millions of men over 50 online. So where are all the men you ask? A lot of them are online and if you have not yet tapped into this market I think you doing yourself a disservice, at least try. Online dating is the new hotspot for boomers and older adults.
As a woman over 40 you need to do a little extra work. But like me you can meet your dream man. In my estimation 40 is not the death sentence which is absurd , it used to be for women.