Often the 20somethings think the 30somethings look great at first Long term potential is hard to predict. What was my service? Or temporarily feeding said old guys ego? Make sure that fitness and health are intrinsically important to to him. If this somehow works out when you are 34 he'll be 44, and when you are 44 and possibly peaking sexually he'll be This is a serious age gap when it comes to not only sex but simply energy and ability to engage in life.
Sorry if this upsets some people who feel the need to downvote but I'm older and this is a reality. You folks think this isn't a factor you are in for a rude awakening later. You make a great point. Make sure he is healthy, and I would add that he has a high degree of openness to experience. One of my friends 29 is married to a guy in his 50s. In terms of fitness and his interests he's a disc jockey on the side, among other things , he likely acts and feels "younger" than many guys her age who are becoming unhealthy and boring.
It's not uncommon, from what I know. From 30 to 50 women often become much more sexually confident, and perimenopause in one's 40's can cause a spike in libido. Basically as a woman you shouldn't expect to want less sex in your 40's, although of course that varies across individuals.
Hey, my ex is 60 and he still does first ascents in Alaska. It's all such a damn crap shoot! But bad health due to bad habits is a death knell. He's also probably unwilling to put up with the games, bullshit or deception that 20ish year old guys are too inexperienced to recognize or too insecure to care about. Stay in the present. The age gaps cause things to go off the rails when you compare childhoods or try to bond over things you experienced while growing up because they're probably going to be much different.
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Focus on the commonalities you have with them right now. It's funny you say that, but I've never found this to be an issue. I have dated 23 year olds who love s music way more than I do. A 22 year old I met on Tinder was debating me about which Elvis period was better I said I liked mid to late s, and she said early Elvis I'm more likely to go to a contemporary concert for example, I'm seeing AJR in April than many of the somethings I have dated. And, when there are differences, like when I mention growing up in the s, they'll either be jealous, or call me "an old man," but mean nothing negative by that.
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Pop culture is kind of superficial though, and nobody is ever tied to a specific time period. I've met younger people with older taste in music than mine because they like what their parents exposed them to. I don't really mean that stuff. Couples can expose each other to new things no matter the age.
Maybe I just have different hang-ups, but even when I've gone on dates with women closer to my age, how they were impacted by the economy or dial-up changing to high speed never came up. In terms of day-to-day importance, I care more about the music someone listens to and how they act versus any of that. I've never found a woman in her 20s to be ignorant of things like dial up or thinking it's odd that I grew up without internet, but maybe that's just that I date ones who are intelligent.
Hence my advice to OP to "stay in the moment. I think it's depressing you're implying music is somehow superficial. I find that the women I date, even ones very capable of intelligently discussing the recession as I am , are much more concerned about music. I regularly date and have dated women in their 20s and early 30s , so this is just my experience.
Maybe your experience is different, but "mundane" things like music seem to matter. So what's your ultimate point then, that pop-culture is the most important thing you care about bonding with someone with? Or that you've compared pasts outside of music with someone much younger and never had a jarring disconnect? Hey, you do you.
Nothing is stopping you. My original comment was basically that despite the expectation there would be a disconnect, I haven't really experienced that. Music was just an example, because my experience has been that far from a disconnect, many women in their mids like 80s and 90s pop culture far more than I do they talk about "Friends" like it was the best show ever That's fine, and my experiences are different. I can't talk with someone more than years younger for very long because our interpretations of events even current events are much different due to being shaped by the culture we experienced growing up.
I'm on a generation cusp and my experiences are largely Gen-X.
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Click here to see why this is necessary. And what about a disconnect in emotional intelligence? Or do you find you're on the same level as 20 something females? Is that why pop culture and music are the primary focus of many of your comments? You don't know my emotional intelligence or that of the "females" I date. Considering one is in med school, one is a teacher, and another in a Classics PhD program since I know classical Greek and Latin we had something to instantly discuss , I'm not too worried if some random person thinks that I'm emotionally immature or they are.
Those three things you mentioned have nothing to do with emotions. There is nothing wrong with defending myself against passive-aggressive comments. And, that's the last I'm even engaging this, and we can agree to disagree here.
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I now agree with you there. I think the person is important not the age. People mature and experience things at different times and rates. I dated a women 14 years younger than me and it was a wonderful experience. She was very developed in the areas that were important to me. The age won't be an issue if you don't make in an issue.
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Ten years isn't even much of a gap, and if your interests, personalities and lifestyle preferences match, you'll soon stop thinking about it. I've been dating a woman 15 years younger than myself for about a year now and my advice to you would be don't worry about the age gap and just be yourself. You two will reach a point where the age gap isn't even something either of you think about and then how things progress will come down to how compatible the two of you are.
Also I honestly don't think 24 to 34 is that much of an age gap given how women mature much younger than men do.
Want to add to the discussion?
I don't know why people lose their shit about age gaps. If any age gap discussion comes up, it's always about shaming the people involved. The older guy must be a creep who can't get women his age, or the younger girl has daddy issues. And, if it's an older woman with a younger man, both must be weird. I've read research that people like the idea of age gaps for themselves but become judgmental of other people in them.
To me, this shows people hate age gaps for jealousy reasons. I frequently date older guys and am actually trying to date my own age.
Welcome to Reddit,
IME, age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to most things. The last woman I was involved with was 12 years younger. I would suggest from that experience, keeping in mind the age diff may also make navigating communication and each other somewhat surprising, just because you may both be at different points in life with regards to experience, interests, views, language, energy and desires. This could be good, could be bad, depending on the people involved and how they choose to react to it. I 29f dated someone 13 years older than me and by the end of it it became very apparent i was the most grown up in the relationship by a lot.
Now I'll always be weary of dating much older than me in fear of the illusive hidden manchild lol.