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Guys- is dating a girl 4 years younger weird? - The Student Room
To Sam 13 June He's older than me I'm thirteen years old and I've been dating a boy for over a month. We started dating on the third of may. I know this sounds messed up. I know it's against the law, but no one understands. We care deeply for one another.
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- Help me please?
He's promised to never pressure me into anything and he promised never to take advantage of me. Recently, some teachers at school found out about our relationship and told me to break up with him. The only problem is It sounds silly to hear a thirteen year old girl talk about being in love, but I think I am.
He's not four full years older than me. Three years and ten months, give or take a few weeks to be exact. We understand that it is against the law, but we're taking the risk for one another. The teachers didn't even ask if he makes me happy, or if he treats me right.
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He does make me happy. And he treats me how you would expect a boyfriend to treat a girlfriend. I think that because he's older, they automatically presume that he's going to take advantage of me. He's not going to, though. Yes, he has hugged me. Yes, we have kissed, but that's as far as it will go. He knows I don't want to have sex until I'm at least eighteen, and he's okay with that. When my life was falling apart, he was there to help me out and make me feel better.
If he makes me happy, treats me right, won't pressure me and won't take advantage, then what's the problem? Our parents are fine with it. Our friends are fine with it. They support the relationship. Why do the teachers invade my personal life? Why must they insist on telling me to break up with him, when they know I won't?
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- Is it illegal to date someone 4 years older than you in the USA?.
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- Is it wrong to date someone 4/5 years younger than you? - Off-Topic Discussion - GameSpot.
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I in love with him, Sam. Truly, madly and deeply. What would your advice be about the teachers?
At 15 I was smart and self-aware. I thought I was totally prepared to deal with the daily realities of having a boyfriend who was older than me by a decade-plus, which turned out to be less than correct. Before I get into the real nitty gritty, though, a few caveats. First, being attracted to older guys is completely and totally normal. Being attracted to someone older just means you are a human person who sometimes thinks other human people are sexy!
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I mean, I know: Acting on those feelings, however, is more complicador. Not every one of these situations is going to be a soap opera about forbidden love and sexual corruption; sometimes it really is just about two people who really like and respect each other. I made my own decisions when I was 15, and I enjoyed the majority of the time I spent dating that year-old as well as the older dudes who came after him.
So, here are the things I wish someone had talked to me about when I was 15—if they had, I doubt I would have acted on my proclivity for adult men at least until it was legal for me to do so, or maybe I would have just dialed my actions back a little. Consider the age difference—how old are you and how old are they? Also, did you know that that song was written for Aaliyah by R. Kelly, who was boning her teenage self at the time?
Anaheed told me this last year and I was like EW. When plotting to French an older person, you might be tempted to rationalize the stretch of time between your two births thusly: Consider how different you are now from how you were two years ago—huge, right? Just as awesome, but with a radically different perspective on what happened in middle school, you know?
That idea also applies to the years between you and an older paramour. Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend went off to college, maybe you met a cute year-old drummer at a show—these things happen and are fine as long as you feel comfortable with this older person. Do you feel OK disagreeing with them?
Is it wrong to date someone 4/5 years younger than you...?
Are they respectful of your life outside of your relationship? Do they get along with your friends? Do they treat you as a peer? You have plenty of time to date people older than you, but not nearly as much to have a high-school romance.
Teenagehood lasts only seven years. You have literally the rest of your earthly days to date people in their 20s and up, but you can never have a real high-school romance again after 12th grade is over. When you get a little older, the fun first-timeyness that goes with teenage love dissipates. While love and sex are still the absolute jam, the hot mystery of figuring out how to do them is over with. Because of the whole potential-incarceration-of-their-partner thing, a teenager may have to hide a relationship with an older person from everyone else in their life. Some of the best parts of having a boyfriend or girlfriend involve other people: Keeping things underground gets tiring and frustrating, not to mention a little overwhelming, really quickly.
Because of the taboo nature of our situation, I had to keep Alan hidden from even my bestest of buds. This was really difficult and very isolating. When he and I got into fights, there was no one in whom I could confide, since no one knew he existed. When I wanted to hang out with him, I had to do a lot of sneaking around and lying to the people I loved.