When I met my husband, I knew there was something different about him. A few months into dating though, I began to see that something was wrong. Forms confused him and jumbled his ability to recall these facts.
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He could verbally recite needed details, but completing these forms himself took a significant amount of time and focus on his part and I often had to help him in completing them. This was just the first of many signs that I would begin to notice see detailed list below. A possible Dyslexia diagnosis was on my mind, since I grew up with my sister who also had Dyslexia and there were many similarities in their experiences and symptoms, but I needed to learn more. After several years of prodding and doing research online into Dyslexia, I convinced my husband to seek a diagnosis.
This is something my husband dreaded. You see, my husband has struggled all his life with teachers explaining away his unique needs as being laziness, in large part, due to stereotypes about brown boys and men in general. He has tried again and again to get help, but what he really needed was proof that he deserved special help. A lot of people believe that Dyslexia is about reading backwards, but in fact this is only a very small part of Dyslexia and not the case for all Dyslexics.
Dyslexia and Dating
But many do not. What does that mean? Well, it means that individuals with Dyslexia often recognize and interpret information taken in through the senses especially sight and sound very differently than most of us. These are 25 things that I think many Dyslexics can relate to, although I know that Dyslexia exists on a spectrum much like Autism and it is different for everyone. As a child he was known as the class clown or trouble-maker; often a distraction to others.
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Often loses things or puts things in strange places. The spelling seems to come and go. Unable to keep rhythm with music when clapping or singing; cannot remember lyrics even to his favorite songs. Trouble telling time; reading an analog clock, remembering numbers, dates, appointments; difficulty reading a map or following written directions. Verbal explanations are needed. Extremely talented in drama, art, music, story-telling, public speaking, poetry, hands-on projects.
These things come very easily to him. Difficulty comprehending when reading or focusing when writing and talking; often forgets what point he was trying to make. Needs more sleep than most and often wakes in a bad mood.
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Used to wake aggressively with fists raised. Still has difficult waking normally. Very social and emotionally sensitive; seems to need more attention than most; also puts a lot of importance on helping others and making others feel comfortable.
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Does any of this sound familiar? For Brand Partnerships, click here. I do at least a few of these even though especially the Math thing. Find out what your child is good at and make them better at it, better than their peers. But it needs to be asked.
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Are they dating other dyslexics because they can, or because they want to? Each understood the suffering the other had experienced at school and with family. So dating another dyslexic may give this. It makes me think about Down syndrome couples. I hate such conversations, but it puts a certain slant on dyslexics dating and marrying other dyslexics. Growing up I did not know many dyslexics, in fact none at school, as dyslexia was not that known or generally diagnosed.
How many dyslexics do I know now, a few adults socially, but mostly as research participants? Thus if its not disclosed, then its going to be hard to find other dyslexics, apart from those in your own or other low ability school classes. I would however imagine that in specialist dyslexia school, where everyone is dyslexics, it would be more common to find dyslexics dating each other. It is not something I have ever personality experienced, even at conferences on dyslexia. Are dyslexics true to themselves by hiding their dyslexic difficulties when dating? So you feel you are very open about it, so they blamed the dyslexia not you?
Its one of the first thing I say, but I suppose I use it as an excuse. I do not mind telling people I am dyslexic, as it is who you are. I would be lying if I said I do not use it as an excuse. I guess it is because I have been told I am stupid a lot growing up, you are quite eager to tell people the reason why you cannot do things. How do people normally react to you telling them you are dyslexic?
I am quite good at hiding it so people do not know, or they see things I do not really have. I am confused, first you say that you are willing to be open and tell people you are dyslexic quite fast but also you also say you are good at covering it up.
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As noted earlier, can dyslexics be themselves when they date non-dyslexics? Do they try and be people they are not? Rather than try and remember their partners names and fail and them look stupid. If they are open and honest, maybe make a joke of it, then the pressure will be lower and the conversation will be more relaxed.