Didn't work that way for you, you mean. People are judged on appearance before anything else enters the equation. Telling her to work out to become more attractive might work in the long run, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't look for a partner in the present. At worse she finds a guy who's okay with her being fat and is pleasantly surprised when she loses weight. If she waits a year or two to lose the weight before dating, that's a ton of lost time and if she regains the weight, as most people do she risks losing her SO because he's not attracted to her anymore.
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Ill agree that you believe that and ill even go so far as to admit you could be right I've done make overs for years and the results I've seen on a daily basis were different. As you say many did revert back to gaining weight but those, in my experience, were the ones least dedicated to the program.
Many took a successful outcome and began adapting it Many began a program only to lose interest when they discovered beauty and attractiveness requires more from most than just being born. It took hard work, dedication to the goals and time. Many were unwilling to do all three. If the OP is satisfied with her weight, be my guest and shop around for someone who likes "fat girls" but if she finds him will he still be attracted to the new her IF she regains her health?
But from my experiences, once a woman becomes more fit and attractive, the first thing they do is begin shopping for someone better than the guy who likes fat girls.
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We'll agree to disagree. But that theoretical guy isn't the one asking for help either. If we waited to be perfect before acting, nothing would ever happen.
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Thank you for a great response. Mossgard's response was typical, unfortunately.
Losing Weight Is Even More Important to Your Dating Life Than You Think - Practical Happiness
Agreed but perfection is a process that takes time. If we take a solid rectangular block of granite and each day we chip away one small piece of it that's not in the overall final plan, how long before the block of stone begins resembling Michelangelo's masterpiece, David? The question is then how far into that process does it takes you to begin seeing this masterpiece and not just a block of granite?
Some guys see the masterpiece while others continue to see the block of granite.
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That's the guy she should be looking for, not the ones who accept her unhealthy state and enjoy it. I asked why losing weight wasn't a consideration. If you're too "medically" disabled to lose weight I apologize. Is your weight the result of medications or a medical condition? That's not a reasonable expectation. Or to put it another way, some people can see the masterpiece without needing to cut chips out of it.
Just because you could quarry a mountain to make the pyramids doesn't mean the mountain wasn't already beautiful. If this doesn't make sense ignore it. Just trying to figure out if you're an old poster or not. Exactly, and some people realize that beauty is more than skin deep. Btw on a side note mossgard , I lost 70 pounds and it didn't improve my dating life. Also, the same insecurities I had when I was fat lingered with the thinner version of me.
That's why it's so important to love the current version of yourself, whether you want to "improve" or not. It's unreasonable to suggest life and love should only start under specific conditions.
Losing Weight Is Even More Important to Your Dating Life Than You Think
Btw re your question zombie , not sure what is so I'm probably not who you're thinking of, but hello anyway lol! Edited on March 1, at I'd go with a pay site if you're looking for a serious long term relationship. I say that as a fat guy who met his met my wife online.
Lavalife, if that one is still around. If you want to play the odds and really that's what dating is put up two similar profiles. One with recent good pictures and one where you're honest and upfront about being big. Don't oversell it but don't lie or minimize either. It'd be interesting to see which one gets more hits for you.
Also post the text of your profile here for feedback. You'd be surprised what turns off some guys. Posting my profile is a great idea. I was with my ex-husband 14 years and now divorced for 7. I honestly feel like I have no clue what might turn off a man beyond being fat, of course. Dating was a looooong time ago. AmberSunset Send a private message. I would go on a normal dating site like Match, E-harmony, Guardian Soulmates.
Contrary to what you may think men all have different tastes whats good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. Some men love plus size women because that is just their taste. But also remember to stay healthy most of all if you are happy with your size that is fine but if you are morbidly obese adopting a healthy lifestyle and weight loss regime is beneficial. Men are very visual creatures.
You might be surprised. Men are not monolithic in their likes as far as women go.
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Marcostripp Send a private message. No I have friends who like big girls,it just depends on the person some like them big some don't,just like some guys like girls who are really skinny or kind of thick,or again big girls. ATS31 Send a private message. Go to legit sites if you're looking for a legit man. Just say plus-sized or put a pic of yourself, theyd see that you're overweight if you put a pic. If you're open to dating guys who aren't conventionally attractive, these tend to be the guys who are more open to dating women who don't fit the societal beauty stereotype either.
That's not to say there aren't some gorgeous guys who don't mind dating women who aren't conventionally seen as attractive, but your odds are going to be deminished. What you judge the guy by, is usually what he's going to judge you by that's been my experience anyway.
I've placed several personal ads in my life even before personal ads were online , and as I matured so did my personal ads.
Lose Weight Before You Date? Ain't Nobody Got Time for That
I learned that personality could make a super-hot guy seem butt-ugly, and a butt-ugly guy seem super-hot. Some people thing chemistry has to happen immediately, or it won't happen ever - and that's just not true. If I had relied on chemistry when I met my husband, we wouldn't have ended up together. The ad I placed through which I met my husband, was one I thought about very carefully. I was nearly at my highest weight, and was dieting. I knew I wasn't going to attract the guys who only dated women who were very thin and I didn't want to, because I knew I'd probably struggle with my weight to some degree for the rest of my life - and I wanted a guy I dated to be prepared for that.
I also didn't want to attract the guys who ONLY are attracted to fat women, especially guys who had such strong preferences that they wouldn't be able to handle me losing weight. I also know that most guys don't particularly like to date dieting women of any size they see them as "no fun" or they suspect the woman is going to try to change their diet habits too.
It was an interesting dilemma - but I didn't want to put my life on hold until some point in the future that might or might not come. I knew from experience that was the biggest way to kill weight loss plans was to give up all the good stuff in life because I wasn't thin yet.