Dating from a womans perspective

The fact is after all this effort and not having any glimpse of success I am also thinking that maybe I will not have kids or I will try to relocate on another continent , try to be rich and have fun with my good friends and establish a charity to help people in need also because I earn more money than I need for a single person. And by the way even if all of a sudden some of my efforts would pay off, I am so irritated by years of insuccess that I would not settle for a girl shows some slight interest without putting any effort like all these "queens" on these websites, what can they really do?

Can they sustain all this stress, what do they do? I am currently on Tinder, and have been for about a month. All of the messages I have received from men have been respectful so far. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing it has something to do with how I wrote my profile, as well as the pictures I chose to show. My profile is pretty straight forward, without being bitchy.

My pictures are tasteful, and there are also some that show I am pretty jacked. I swear that after I have become more buff, men have gotten a ton more respectful. And no, I don't think I'm special because I'm fit, it is just a physicality. I think one very important thing that any female can do, is be straight forward with what you want, but with a trace of ambiguity and openness. This way men feel comfortable enough to state what they really want, which is course paramount when finding someone of any decent quality and character.

Also, this prevents men from molding themselves to what you want so they can get laid. If you receive a pervert message which you will- it's pretty much guaranteed , do not give them any type of reward attention. Simply block, or keep the message so you can remember them, and therefore not be subjected to the behavior again. The way women present themselves provokes how men will react.

When I see genuine and cute profile, I try to be as well mannered as possible, I don't want to loose this opportunity. But when I see a woman that I don't like and she's a bit off, like desperate or bitchy, then my first idea is to ask her if she agrees to have sex with me, nothing else. I don't do it because I'm fully aware that it doesn't work that way and I simply don't message her. But this illustrates the difference between my messages based on women's profiles. I am a woman trying st internet dating.

There is no guarantee for a man or a woman that they will meet a great partner on the internet. Their age - very young - there location - in another state - their marital status - married - no pictures - incomplete profiles - they have not bothered to read my profile. Then I read through their profile to see if they might be a person I would consider meeting in person.

Guys, don't think the women are ignoring you. I READ the profiles. At least half the men are excluded because they have pets and I am very allergic to animals. Love your dog and your profile picture has a dog? I will pass over you. Say you are an animal lover in your profile?

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Every man I have messaged that has a pet says "too bad - I love my pet". But just one of the reasons I do not message you. I actually READ the profile to see if there is compatibility. Want a girlfriend who is kosher?

Want a girlfriend who is a great cook? Want a girlfriend who likes casual sex how is sex casual? Want an animal lover? Have a fifth grade education and want a woman who can keep house? If you just want flattery, don't expect it on the internet.

It is nice to get messages, but if the guy is completely incompatible in many ways, why do I have to send a message? I don't expect men who do not like my online profile to message me either. The fact that I get dozens of messages from completely unsuitable men does not mean I am ignoring "nice guys". Your neighbor is "nice".

Is she dating material for you? My neighbors are "nice". Are they suitable dating material for me? If so, I would be married by now. Very difficult to find a suitable partner on line or anywhere. I'll admit that I ignore most of the messages I get on okcupid. I'm not interested in forcing myself into a relationship with someone that I'm really not attracted to. It frustrates me that so often do people think that just because they're "nice" they deserve a shot and that simply isn't how attraction works.

Men especially think this way. If you're nice and I'm not attracted to you, that makes you good friend material, but if I have to kiss you, I'm going to be forcing myself to do it. That doesn't even take into account sex. I'm not going to date you so why bother? I also ignore or block creepy messages for which I get a lot. If you're okay looking and you message me about something we're both interested in I will reply. If I replied to every single message, even the ones I wasn't attracted to, I would have to be talking to at least 15 different guys every day.

And they would probably continue talking to me for a week at least. That's around different people I would have to talk to by the end of my first week. Almost all of those guys will probably be ones I'm not interested in so why would I bother? It will be a waste of time for both of us. Also you can't TELL a guy you're not interested. I've done this, I've tried to be nice, I'll even say "Hey you really like 'A' and I'm more of a 'B' kind of girl" or "you smoke and I'm not really a fan, but good luck!

I get people desperately trying to tell me those things shouldn't matter if we connect on such and such another level that maybe doesn't matter to me. Clearly I can't make my own decision on who's worthy of my time and I should just accept all these supposedly nice guys that flip the moment I'm not interested. This also doesn't mean all guys are like this. There have been maybe 3 that I told them I wasn't interested in after talking to them and why and they went on their merry way.

If the majority of messages women receive are juvenile, insulting, generic or just plain creepy, why is it that those rare men who study women's profiles the written ones and craft each message around the woman's likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc, still receive almost no replies? And speaking of likes and dislikes, has anyone noticed that in many areas men and women like different things? How many men will say "Hey, I like romance novels too! I am a woman who loathes romance novels and films , but loves martial arts revenge films.

I am not saying this to be funny. You should absolutely put that in your profile. You will get more messages juvenile and otherwise , almost guaranteed.

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While I certainly appreciate the desire to write about the travails of online dating I find your claim that this is the whole story from the male and female perspectives to be laughable. The whole story is likely impossible to tell but any story told from the perspective of two individuals to describe the experience of tens of millions of people is bound to be a bit shortsighted.

Online Dating Is a Woman’s Worst Nightmare

I think that a large part of the problem with online dating is how we view ourselves and others. The vast majority of profiles I've seen read like job applications. It seems as if a healthy smattering of keywords is all that is required to share who we are as individuals. The majority of profiles are as similar as mainstream medias concept of beauty. In the end there isn't much to differentiate one profile from another.

On rare occasions someone has shown a willingness to write something unique. A rare individual that is capable of thinking for themselves and doesn't feel the need to be a carbon copy of what society tells us are our desirable traits. Of the hundreds of profiles I've viewed this past few years I have come across a handful less than 10 and closer to 5 of women that stand apart from the crowd. That is a very desirable trait in my search.

A few years ago I had a profile on okcupid. I uploaded a few decent pictures of myself. I received a lot of views and a decent amount of messages. A year ago I created a new profile on okcupid and uploaded one picture that makes it somewhat more difficult to tell what I look like. This time around I've received considerably less profile views and considerably less messages.