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Their techniques include making themselves your ideal person. They will watch you like their prey, laugh at your jokes, like the movies you like, go to the gym more or lie about it to impress you , they will commit to the win.
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They will play it cool. In some way or another they will find you out of their league if your not they are bored and you are what they think they want until you want more. A classic sign of this is their inability to show emotions other than positive ones. Negative emotions such as sadness and anger make the Commitment Phobe feel weak and vulnerable and they do not like to be put in that position.
They rarely loose their temper and the need to be liked and accepted is huge but the need to be needed is even larger. If you have made it to stage 2 with the Commitment Phobe then you are very lucky. You will be lucky if this relationship lasts more than a week because the second the Commitment Phobe has the title of boyfriend or girlfriend, they will question everything about you. The best thing you can do at this point is move slowly, hunt them, any quick movement and they will run for the hills.
They best thing you can do is go on a holiday for a month and get to know them from a distance. The lack of attachment stops the Commitment Phobe from feeling suffocated and they may begin to develop some trust in you.
10 signs that you’re dating a commitment phobe, and how deal with it
However, when you return expect very little as the Commitment Phobe needs space. In a physical sense the Commitment Phobe goes two ways: Sadly unless changed by your incredible patience, smooth moves and some miracle through nature the Commitment Phobe will think of some excuse not to be with you. She was subtle about wanting him gone but made his life a living hell — and the Commitment Phobe ironically commits to ending it.
If they do break up with you they will do it a gently as possible.
10 signs that you’re dating a commitment phobe, and how deal with it
People with a commitment phobia long and want a long-term connection with another person, but their overwhelming anxiety prevents them from staying in any relationship for too long. If pressed for a commitment, they are far more likely to leave the relationship than to make the commitment. Or they may initially agree to the commitment, then back down days or weeks later, because of their overwhelming anxiety and fears.
Some people with relationship anxiety may confuse positive feelings of excitement for another person and the potential of a relationship with the feelings of anxiety. For instance, normal feelings of anticipation or may be misconstrued by the person as a panic reaction, or general negative anxiousness. Some may also just have a difficult time resolving the inherent conflict of romantic relationships — the craving of intimacy while wanting to retain their own individuality and freedom.
People with commitment issues come in all shapes and sizes, and their exact dating and relationship behaviors can vary. Some refuse to have any serious or long-term relationships longer than a week or a month, because of their fears. Others may be able to be involved with one person for a few months, but as the relationship becomes more serious and deeper, their old fears again come to the forefront, driving the person away. Both men and women can suffer from relationship anxiety and commitment phobia, although traditionally it was thought primarily to be a male problem.
The causes of commitment phobia are as varied as the people who suffer from it. Other common causes of commitment phobia may include:. No matter what the specific cause of commitment phobia, it can be helped. There is help, but a person needs to want to change and find a way to overcome their relationship anxiety.
It cannot be done by others. There are many strategies to help someone with commitment phobia, depending on the severity of the anxiety.
A person will also learn in therapy that open communication with their partner will reduce the likelihood of there being any future surprises or trust issues. Some people with milder commitment issues may benefit from getting support for their concerns through an online support group for relationship issues.
And while self-help books vary in their usefulness and practice advice, these may of particular consideration to check out:.
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- What is Commitment Phobia & Relationship Anxiety?.
The fear of commitment can be overcome. The first step is being open to change, and wanting to make the changes in your life and your thinking that can help you be less anxious in future relationships.