It's not nice to your friend, but seeing as she's already rejected him, I'm not convinced he would've still had a chance even without you being around, at least not for a while longer. It's nothing personal in the end, so as long as you're fair to your friend and can convince him that you're doing it for yourself and do not intend to hurt him, then hopefully he should be fair to you as well and understand your situation. That's what friends should be for, after all.
Once that's out of the way, it might be best to avoid the topic with him as well, at least until he shows signs of moving on. You're still in high school, so at some point he'll start to recover as well.
In love with best friend but she just started dating someone else. Any advice?
If he's in any way fair to you, then you won't have to actually choose between your GF and your best friend. If he's not, that's his problem. Unless there are more details that you haven't shared yet, the worst thing you can do right now is to threaten your relationship. Friendships, like relationships, are not a one-way street. He has to understand you the same way you understand him, and seeing as you made this post, your honest intentions are clear enough that you don't have to worry about yourself here. Outside of being fair to him like I said earlier, the onus is on him to understand you and work towards moving on, unless the GF herself has other ideas but that might require an entirely new question.
You mentioned that he said "He didn't want to ruin our new-found relationship. It's not the easiest thing in the world to get over a crush at that age, and this sort of situation doesn't make it any better, hence why he wasn't completely honest with you from the get-go. It's a common scenario and I wouldn't hold it against him if I were you.
Odds are if he was able to at least say that, then he's definitely working on moving on, which means things are looking good for you. Being reminded of her via you getting into a relationship with her probably didn't help, but that's why I suggested trying to avoid the topic past a certain point. You don't have a problem, and your girlfriend doesn't have a problem. Your friend is the only one with a problem.
I suggest you tell your friend to grow up and get over her. The fact that he had a crush on her is of no interest to anyone whatsoever since she rejected him. When that happens, a person can do two things: Convince that other person to change her mind which he failed to do , or get over it. Anything else is just hurtful and unhealthy. And I'm not saying that because you are with her now. If any other person were her boyfriend, you would advise your friend just the same way that he needs to get over this.
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So he doesn't want to ruin your new-found relationship. Who does he think gives him the right to talk like this? He had a crush and was rejected. That doesn't give him any rights. You are worried what he might do. You think that in his mind he has some idea that he has the right to do something because he had a crush. Of course he has no such right. To prevent him from doing something stupid, do what you can to wipe that idea out from his mind.
If he says she left him, tell everyone loudly that no, she never left him, because they never were together in the first place, that she never gave him any indication that he had any chance, and that he was rejected. That will be painful for him. Not getting over her will be much more painful. For a start, it prevents him from meeting any of the single women around him. You will not be able to make both of these people entirely happy. So the first decision is whom of them you want to make happy, and whom of them you want to minimize damage for.
That decision alone is subject of countless books and movies.
So I'll not delve into it, that is your decision to make based on history, personality and how high you rate your chance that this person will still be your friend or girlfriend in 1, 3, 5, 10, 20 years. Once you decided, you put your entirely loyalty to the person you decided for.
I like this girl but shes dating my friend
In case of doubt, always side with them. Never leave any doubt. Especially do not flip-flop, trying to appease both. The second person still deserves your respect and that your actions do minimal harm to them. For example, avoid talking about the primary person while in the company of the secondary person. Nobody wants to be reminded that you picked someone else over them. And that is really all you can do. How people handle their own emotions is up to them.
Dating Your Friend's Ex
You can avoid piling on, but you cannot manage it for them. So your friend gave you a green light, it's nice and considerate of you to have asked beforehand, because that wasn't obligatory, certainly But trying to ruin your relationship is what he is doing with this. Whether he realizes it or not, that admission is going to put a strain on your relationship with either your friend or your girlfriend or both.
That's a very noble intention of you, but it sounds from everything else like that's only going to make matters worse. I'd recommend sitting it out and letting your friend get himself back together on his own. Be there when he wants to talk to you about it, but don't actively go seeking it out.
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Well for the letting a girl down I would not be saying we can discuss this when I get back or even agreeing that you are ok to go on a date. I would tell her I am not interested. She never did that. She did the above. I was making a point as to how people let others down, not the exact wording. Regardless of how you do it, that is how she did it, that is how a great many women do it.
You need to stop searching for excuses and look at the reality here. You also need to learn from this, and next time you have feelings for a woman, act on them when you have them. But how could I when she was not in the country? Has she been out of the country for 8 years? Guy, I'm trying to help you here. You need to let it go. Actually she was for a time previously of around a year and when disappeared for a bit it was nearly 2 years. She disappeared due to a massive depression and did not want anyone to see her, We reconnected back she was on this current Texas trip that lasted longer then planned.
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Every time she was supposed to come back a delay would happen. The other 2 years at first were were working the same job and then she quit and we would occasionally hang out but we could never really get a chance to hang out too much as I was working nights but we would talk all the time. She disappeared right when I was about to ask her out at that time.
During that entire time I was not pinning for her. The feelings came back like 6 months after we reconnected.
Edited on January 31, at DoctorDoom Send a private message. The best way to get out of the friendzone is to never put yourself in the friendzone to begin with. You are more than a day late, and more than a dollar short. Live and learn - next time you meet a woman of potential romantic interest - don't befriend her - FLIRT with her Maybe she wont feel it - but it sure better than wasting 8 years of your life pining for someone you had mislead about your intentions because you were too gutless to make a move.
I did try and make a move after we reconnected after not talking for 2 years. She said she didn't want a long distance relationship and we talk about when she got back. But her trip back kept getting delayed and then this happened. I made a move about 10 months after we started talking again more so 8 as was it was the occasional email at first which itself 6 months after I got over my ex. I was also flirting with her the entire time after I got over ex. Nicholas Send a private message. Man, I am really feeling for you right now.
It seems so unfair doesn't it? That your crush could so easily overlook you - and for a jerk no less…. Does this story sound familiar to anyone else besides me? You are learning a hard lesson right now. You have to stop acting like a wuss. Please don't misunderstand - I am a reformed wuss myself, and so many awesome men reading this will agree, that we are all reformed wusses. Is this girl so beautiful and intelligent?