I planned on telling them during CNY until I overheard my mother talking to my aunts about how I was seeing a girl, and that she was happy with whoever I chose to be with. Having grown up in a traditional Asian family, I never verbally confessed that I was a lesbian.
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They helped me understand my feelings of being attracted to both genders, and it was liberating for me to finally come out to myself. Following my sexual awakening, I texted my mother a long paragraph about how I felt being bisexual.
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However, I was disappointed when she read my message and never replied. After I graduated and came home, we never once spoke about the message.
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I cut my hair short and began dating women as I felt more attracted to them. But one day, my parents caught me holding hands with a girl.
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They raged in anger and insisted we break up. Lost and helpless, I turned to my sister for support but she offered no comfort either.
In a moment of desperation and loneliness, I even contemplated suicide. They were surprised but took the news calmly when I emphasised that I was also attracted to men. I felt dishonest but I figured that was the only way for them to accept that I was different—by giving them hope that I could marry a guy one day.
My hope is to come out again, and be completely honest about who I am. Most of all I like getting to know someone who has a kind and interesting personality.
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