A rabbi cuts them off. A priest sucks them off. What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? What did one broke hooker say to the other? Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour. How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same? What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
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Why did the semen cross the road? Because you wore the wrong socks today. Why did the snowman suddenly smile? How are women like linoleum floors? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party.
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A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you. What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? Why did Jesus die a virgin? Once again, the girl's father stands up, shouts "Duke! Finally, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever heard or smelt rippled through the dining room.
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The girl's father stands up again. Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for.
The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months.
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The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had.
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The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you". A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts.
The guy says, "No, ma'am. A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
1. Seven Inches
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper. He asked his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.