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This helps her to understand the reasons for the breakup and the consequences and gives her the time to ask you questions. Don't recite a list of her annoying habits.
Comfort her, but stay firm in your stance. Acknowledge any wrongdoing on your part. If you were unfaithful, come clean. Let her know your part in why the relationship didn't work out. This may not help her at the moment, but she will feel better later to know that the breakup was not entirely her fault. Don't fight during the breakup discussion, blame her for her mistakes or call her names. Simply state the facts, talk in a calm and collected manner and realize that this information may be devastating to her.
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Be honest about why you are breaking up. You don't need to say that you are breaking up because she is clingy and preventing you from seeing more attractive women. Simply state that you and she do not have the same viewpoint on your relationship and where it is heading. If she wants a commitment and you're not ready, tell her.
Let her know that the relationship is over and be sincere.
How to Break Up Respectfully (for Teens)
Don't call her later when you feel guilty and try to be friends. Definitely don't call her to hook up so that she settles for only a physical relationship. Avoid breaking up with her in a way that will embarrass her. Don't make a scene at her place of work or announce the breakup at a party with friends and family present.
Let her take the lead on when to inform other people of your breakup. Keep any negative opinions about her to yourself. Have one breakup discussion and then move on. Don't drag it out. Give her honest and complete information and then leave after a few minutes of comforting her and apologizing. She needs time to heal and your continued presence will only cause her more pain and confusion.
Samantha Kemp is a lawyer for a general practice firm. She has been writing professionally since Her articles focus on legal issues, personal finance, business and education. She also has degrees in economics and business and teaching. I hope that this isn't too upsetting — it's nothing personal, and it would be great to be friends, maybe in the future.
This is a good breakup text because it's polite, but clear. If it's only been one or two weeks, you don't have to explain why you're not feeling it! It's super common for people to change their minds after a few dates, and she'll likely assume that's what happened here. Either way, this text does the job quickly, but cleanly.
This is trickier territory than breaking up after two dates, even though it's still early enough that it won't devastate them. If you've been dating for one or two months, you've probably slept over at each other's houses. You've made each other breakfast, and you've gotten used to seeing each other on the weekends! At this point, you probably owe it to the person to break up with them in person, or at the very least over the phone.
This doesn't mean that you should call them and say abruptly 'Hey, I wanna break up, so cancel those movie tickets next week. Ideally, something along the lines of:. So, I've been thinking a lot about us, and where I see it going. I'm feeling a little uncertain about the future, and I think that's not a good sign. I feel like maybe this has run its course, and I'm so sorry that it has.
You're great, and you deserve to be with someone who is ready for a long-term relationship. If you can sit down with them, and tell them kindly but firmly that you don't see this going anywhere, that's best.
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A phone call will do, in a pinch. Don't beat around the bush — get to the point, but listen to her and be patient, whatever her response is. It's unlikely that you'll be met with much resistance, but you should give her a chance to say her piece before you say goodbye. Say you've been dating for six months, and you don't feel like you're going to fall in love with this person. They're just not the one. Or maybe you want to keep dating casually, or maybe you want to move and travel in Europe for a year. Whatever your reason for ending it, this is a situation that definitely requires an in-person discussion.
You've spent six months hanging out with this girl- you can definitely afford to take an hour out of your week for the breakup conversation. At this stage, you don't know how she's going to react to the B word. She may have seen it coming, because women are perceptive like that. On the other hand, she may have absolutely no idea that you're unhappy in the relationship!
There's no way to know until you break it to her, which is why it's not a great idea to break up on a crowded sidewalk. Take her to an empty coffee-shop, or ask if you can come by her place to talk. That way, if the conversation gets emotional, she won't feel humiliated by being in public. If there is a specific reason you want to break up, and it's something that is out of her control, or that would hurt her feelings, don't bring it up.
This is one situation where total honesty is not required. An example of a breakup method that could backfire spectacularly:. Sandra, I don't think it's going to work out between us. I'm not attracted to you anymore. Is it my appearance?
What did I do wrong in the relationship? Is it our sex life? Where did you meet her? How long has this been going on? I can't believe this. I thought you were the one. I feel as if I'm nothing. And all this time, you were going behind my back. Can you just listen to me for a second? Now you're both upset, and confused, and not listening to each other. It's an emotional minefield, which is inevitable: Is it really necessary to tell her that you're getting bored in the relationship?
These kinds of statements are cruel, no matter how truthful they may be. There's no need to make people feel bad about themselves when you're leaving them. I've been thinking about our relationship, and I'm concerned that I feel differently than I used to. I don't think it's going to work out between us. I am so sorry, and I want you to know this is hard for me too. It's going to be difficult to lose you, but I think we should break up.
How- I mean, why do you want to break up? I had no idea. I thought you were happy. I wish I'd brought it up earlier, but I feel like it's not fair to you to continue with something I'm not sure about. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's just a feeling that I can't shake, and I'm sad that it had to be like this. This approach does a number of things right: Many people are averse to saying Sorry during a breakup, because they feel it's not a crime to end a relationship.
Well, it certainly isn't, but it's not meant as an apology. Here, the sorry is shorthand for "I'm sorry that we can't be together any longer, and that this hurts your feelings. I'm sorry because I'm a decent human being who cares about other people's feelings.
Breaking Up Is Hard…Be honest and sensitive.
Secondly, you're acknowledging that this isn't easy for you either. It's tempting to fall back on glibness because you don't want to be emotionally honest, and have an uncomfortable conversation. But if you act breezy or nonchalant about the breakup, it's going to cause that much more pain to the other person who isn't nonchalant about it. We're not saying you have to fake a weeping fit, but don't suppress your own pain or sorrow about the situation. Most importantly, this approach doesn't place the blame on the other person, or trigger any of their insecurities. You're framing this as your problem, as a feeling that you have about the relationship.
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That's not something she can argue with, or reasonably resent. Chances are, she'll accept it as peaceably as anyone would in that situation.