However I'm in no hurry and won't marry before I'm I'm also having surgery on both knees in a couple weeks and it will be difficult to get around the next few months. I'm thinking about throwing in the towel and just giving up on the whole thing. I hate quitting, but it's just getting stupid at this point and I have no desire to date anymore, at least online.
I'm just not good at meeting potential women in person I guess so I'd rather not drag my self-esteem through the mud again by asking women out in person anymore. That process is even more self-damaging. What should a guy like me do? I want to keep the window open, and I know as a man I should take initiative, but with all the lack of success over the last few years it's hard to keep getting back on the horse.
It's nearly depressing, and I don't even care that much about it. I want to get married and have a family someday, but I'm starting to think it's not my destiny, just not in the cards. You usually find something when you stop looking for it. You are also still quite young and in my own experience, most of the professional men, like yourself, I have dated or met weren't really ready for a serious relationship until they were in their 30's. Take some pressure off yourself and you'll feel better. Also, I never dated a man I met in a bar or online so look around you in everyday and ordinary places.
Topic: Feeling Discouraged about Online Dating
I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry! I don't know you personally so I agree with you, just give up. The thing that stood out to me in your post is that you said you won't date someone unless you feel there's a really strong connection and marriage potential. Having a strong connection is a good thing but the marriage potential?
Seems that you're putting the cart before the horse. The only way you are truly going to know if that potential is there is by dating someone; there's no magical formula that will help you decide this beforehand.
Feeling Discouraged about Online Dating
Plus, I wonder if you have told potential dates this. If so, it could be scaring them off. Dating doesn't have to always be a prelude to marriage. If that happens, great!
5 Ways to Deal with Dating Burnout
But don't forget to enjoy the process, too. Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA. I agree with Thursday Sometimes you can try too hard. I think it's always wise for any single person who has been actively looking for awhile to take a breather, some time off and pursue other interests, work on themselves, etc When you take a break, you get a fresh perspective and a fresh mind when getting back into it.
Think of it like one of those word search puzzles, you stare and stare and nothing pops out but, as soon as you turn your head away or take a break, wallah! There is the word you were looking for. If you have been single this long, what's another few months??
Take a break and start over in the new year, maybe Feb or March. Good luck whatever you do.
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I think for men especially dating just doesn't come as easily as a woman looking. Without knowing you personally, that's all I can offer. Make that a priority, and then see if things change.
Don't forget that with the online dating pages - pretty women get flooded with emails and have a hard time answering all of them. I also agree with the other poster - don't try too hard, you might find the right girl when you stop looking for it. Maybe there is a really annoying habit you have and you don't even know?
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Or your style of clothes is a big turn off? Somebody from the outside could do you a big favor in telling you that. And yes - get off the burgers and get in shape! Give up and focus on your health, especially if you're having knee surgeries in the near future. What's your outlook on life like? Based on some of the post I've read that were written by you, you seem to have a somewhat negative attitude. You mentioned having a "playfully abrasive" personality, but maybe it's not as "playful" as you think. I agree with ChessieMom.
I am your age. I have gone through tons of changes in the past 10 years, in the way that I look, the way that I act, and the way that I think, my attitude, my morals, my friends, I've been introverted and extroverted, popular and a nobody, I've been flat broke, and I've been financially secure, I've had long hair and a bald head, I've been drunk, stoned, sober, loud, and quiet.
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Plus, you are more likely to attract good potential mates when you feel worthy of receiving love from someone you would admire and respect. Now, what if you do feel good about where you are in life? What if you've moved on from your past, you've broken free of unhealthy patterns and you're truly ready for love? You may be thinking, Hey, I've done everything I'm supposed to do -- I have an active social life with solid friendships, I do yoga, I have a great job, I'm 'putting myself out there' by asking friends to set me up and by doing online dating.
I even went to therapy. What more can a person possibly do!? The frustration is understandable. Sometimes, it's not about doing more. You may already be doing your part. At this point, it's more about continuing to take care of yourself and not getting even more discouraged by the fact that dating is still taking a bit longer than you expected.
You must find ways to not give up your hope of finding love. You must learn to deal with dating burnout, but never give up. Here are the best ways to cope:. Having acceptance doesn't mean you accept that you are going to be alone for the rest of your life. Quite the contrary; you can have acceptance while still working hard to meet a great potential partner.
Acceptance, instead, has to do with acknowledging your life as it is right now. It means accepting that right now, for whatever reason, you haven't found the right person. Acceptance is about being OK with where you're at -- it doesn't mean you love it, or even that you want it to be like this, but it does mean that you understand that there's no point denying it or agonizing over it. You simply accept that right now, it is what it is. Dating burnout likely means that you need to change things up, even if it's a small, temporary change.
If you're feeling like you've had a series of bum relationships or no-go dates and you're at your wit's end, it might be time to take a dating break. Take a week or two and give yourself a break from engaging in any new relationship. When you're feeling stuck in a rut, giving yourself some space can be extremely refreshing. It takes the pressure off, and it gives you a chance to let go of some of the negativity that might be lingering from your not-so-successful recent past dates.
It's very hard to feel positive about dating if you're burned out. You don't have to deny that you're having a hard time. In fact, it's helpful to validate your own emotional experience, rather than beat yourself up for feeling down.
Start out by naming your emotions. For instance, you might notice that you're feeling 'frustrated,' 'sad' or 'hopeless. The next important step is to recognize that negative emotions will come and go. Just because you're feeling sad or discouraged in this moment doesn't mean it will always be this way.