Although it was superseded by the civil-service examination system in the Sui Dynasty , it was still a tradition for the concerned parties to get matched according to their social and economic status, which was followed by the Tang Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty Free love was absolutely banned in ancient China and was widely condemned as an offence to public decency according to the traditional Confucian ethic codes, so it was the task of parents to arrange marriage for their children in order to maintain order of the traditional patriarchal society.
Not only was the arranged marriage formally favored by society, but it was also politically supported and enhanced by law in ancient China. Having never seen each other before their wedding day, this resulted in numerous unequal and loveless marriages.
Ancient Chinese Marriage Customs - China Highlights
The forbidden marriage policy on people bearing the same surname was launched and carried out in the Western Zhou Dynasty BC BC to guarantee a clear feudal patriarchal hierarchy and order of inheritance such as the throne and property. People of the same clan and surname were not allowed to get married in the Tang Dynasty , especially among members of royalty. The law interdicted the intermarriage between people of the same clan in the Ming and the Qing dynasties; however, it allowed people of the same surname but of different clans to get married.
Generally speaking, it was a traditional national policy to carry out feudalistic monogamy in ancient China, however, the traditional Chinese culture didn't prohibit or explicitly encourage polygamy a man and multi women. It was tolerated for a man to take concubines other than his primary wife, but only the upper and middle class men could afford it owing to their affluent resources. The traditional marriage customs, to a large extent, reflect the traditional Chinese culture, which varies from one area to another and even from one dynasty to another.
The Three Letters refer to the betrothal letter, the gift letter and the wedding letter, each of which is used in a different ritual of the marriage. The six etiquettes proposing marriage, matching birthdates, submitting betrothal gifts, presenting wedding gifts, selecting a wedding date and holding a wedding ceremony have been adopted in the traditional Chinese marriage customs since the Western Zhou Dynasty BC BC , which shows that Chinese people attach great importance to marriage and are somewhat superstitious.
Finding love in ancient China
If the fortune-teller said it was ok, the marriage ritual would continue. Among the submitted gifts, a wild migratory goose was considered the most important one in the Western Zhou BC BC and the Han dynasties BC due to it representing steadfast love. The wedding gifts usually included cash silver , jewelry, cakes and sacrificial articles. The boy's parents selected a wedding date through the art of divination and solicited agreement of the girl's parents.
If both parties didn't object to the date, the girl's party would deliver the bride's dowry to the bridegroom's house at least one day before the wedding ceremony. The traditional dowry included jewelry, scissors symbolizing the couple would never separate , a ruler symbolizing thousands of acres of fine land , a slab of sugar symbolizing the sweetness of a happy marriage , a silver purse symbolizing wallowing in money , a vase symbolizing richness and honor , shoes symbolizing the couple would remain happily married to a ripe old age , quilts, pillows, clothes and lotus petals symbolizing the couple would have many children.
Ancient Chinese Marriage Customs
Such a phenomenon is unlikely to occur in developed Western nations, where the elderly tend to spend retirement in a more leisurely manner, instead of interfering in the personal affairs of their children. In China, you find the opposite to be the case. It is becoming increasingly evident that Chinese society has failed to adequately prepare for its own rapidly aging population.
Public services rarely cater to the needs of the elderly, and many retired Chinese become marginal members of society. In this context, elderly Chinese men and women have turned to matchmaking. Of course, they are in part motivated by a desire to find a partner for their children. However, studies have shown that these matchmaking corners have a success rate of less than 1 percent.
Many Chinese find wry humor in the fact that men who hold doctoral degrees sit at the top of the food chain, while women who are just as educated often sit at the bottom. At the same time, seniors view matchmaking corners as a social activity, much like their beloved square dances and walking tours. At local marriage markets, they gather to gossip away the time and perhaps ease feelings of solitude or aimlessness. Recently, an article about matchmaking went viral on Chinese social media. At a matchmaking market in the capital, one mother was quoted as saying: Matchmaking has become a source of controversy, as it relies on a cruel hierarchy loaded with prejudice and contempt.
Those at the bottom are, naturally, poorly paid part-time workers without a city hukou , car, or house.
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Things get even more interesting when matchmaking collides with traditional superstition and entrenched gender discrimination. Matchmakers sometimes assume that female Ph. Furthermore, even if a woman satisfies all the requirements of her potential suitors, she may yet be ignominiously relegated to the realm of the unmarriageable for the being born in the Year of the Sheep.
This is because many elderly people cling to the superstition that most women who are born in the Year of the Sheep suffer misfortune in their family lives, ending up childless or widowed. Even if young people continue to have an idealistic vision of love, bleak social realities force them to view marriage as a type of transaction. The overwhelming majority of young Chinese people disapprove of this hierarchy.
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An increasing number of young people believe in individualism, personal freedom, and modern science, but their elderly counterparts continue to uphold the values of traditional Chinese society. This divide in public opinion is becoming more extreme, as is vividly demonstrated by debates surrounding matchmaking. Why is it, then, that the subject of Chinese matchmaking continues to foment interest and debate among young people? The answer is that this subject is a microcosm of the issues that cause anxiety in young people: Meanwhile, as real estate prices continue to soar , the struggle to succeed has become increasingly futile, as talent and ambition are no longer enough to afford a mortgage.
Despite their intense contempt for Chinese-style matchmaking, they cannot help but feel torn between hating the culture of xiangqin and wondering if it might not be in their best interests.