Sometimes He will say "no" or "not now"; keep that in mind as you seek guidance from the Holy Spirit in your friendships and other relationships. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Cat is the web producer and editor of teens. She loves audiobooks, feeding the people she cares about, and using Christmas lights to illuminate a room.
When Catiana is not writing, cooking, or drawing, she enjoys spending time with her two kids, five socially-awkward cats, and her amazing friend-amily. What does the Bible say about dating? Are Christian teens allowed to date? Am I ready to start dating? When is an acceptable age to start dating? How do I convince my parents to let me date? How young is too young to be in a romantic relationship? What does the Bible say about having a crush? How much is too much? What does the Bible say about flirting?
In the months and weeks before I joined the popular dating app Tinder this fall, I found myself googling phrases like " Tinder and Christians ", " Christians on Tinder " and " Is Tinder okay for Christians " again and again.
I never really found any search results that helped with what I was looking for. I hope that today's blog post might help someone out there who might someday be googling the same things that I was! I by no means consider myself to be a relationship or faith expert and I'm certainly not a Tinder expert , but I do have a story to share about this topic, and what better place to do so then my blog?
A black and white version of the photo that I used for my Tinder Bio. I have been on many a casual date throughout the past three and a half years, but circumstances beyond my control always prevented things from getting more serious with the two boys that I could have given my heart to during my college years so far. Then there has been plenty of unwanted male attention, especially during my freshman year at my former college, but that's a whole separate blog post!
The couple times that I have opened my heart a little bit, I have gotten hurt before things even progressed very far. I do truly believe that God has a perfect plan for everyone's relationships if they follow Him, and that is what I have tried to honor with my dating life in college.
He is ultimately greater then any crushes or boys or hook-ups. But with all of that said, by the start of my senior year this year, I was getting a little tired of being single. Actually, a lot tired. I hadn't been on a date in over six months, and the last guy that I had gone out with was someone who I had much greater feelings for than he had for me.
Christian Dating's Top 5 Myths and Misconceptions
I knew that it was really about time for me to move on from that situation, but I didn't know how to. I go to a college that has a much higher population of female students then males another reason why I haven't dated that much in college , and no one was catching my eye at school at the start of the year. I'm not the type of girl who will force myself to like a guy just so that I have someone to go out with, and I wasn't about to start doing that with the guys at school.
So I started to consider Tinder. I had heard so much about it over the past couple of years, as it really came on the scene during my college years. At first Tinder was only known as an app to find people nearby who wanted to hook-up, but over time the connotation of it began to change. I started hearing more and more stories of real relationships that were formed because of Tinder. By going to school in a city as large enough as Charlotte, I started to wonder about the population of guys on there, and if there might be guys on the app who had similar lifestyles and religious views to me, and who might be looking for relationships instead of just casual sex.
When the stress of sorority recruitment started really getting to me by mid-September of this year, I decided that I needed a distraction from recruitment and needed it FAST , so I thought that downloading Tinder would be the perfect distraction. I thought that maybe talking to some new guys, going on dates, and the possibility of maybe meeting someone amazing would be a great way to get through the recruitment season.
I do have to give the app credit for getting my head out of the sorority mindset a bit! But was it the healthiest distraction?
I don't think so. This might sound like a lot, but with the way that the app works I was probably swiping through literally hundreds of guys within the time that I had it, so I really am very selective. And out of these eight-ten, I only went on two dates. Neither resulted in a second date. Both of my dates were in restaurants during the dinner hours. Both restaurants were popular places and in very public areas- when meeting someone for the first time from online, safety is always key! One date was right in Charlotte, and the other was in a suburb. The first guy that I met up with was back in September, during my sorority recruitment season.
We had a really nice conversation on the app, and I was genuinely excited to meet the guy. The good news about our date: We had no connection in person at all, and what little conversation there was felt very forced. My second date was about a month later, with a guy who was a few years older than me. He was the opposite of the first guy, in that he was very nice, and we were both able to hold decent conversation throughout the whole date. He was also a Christian and enjoyed talking about his faith, and I liked the fact that I had been able to find an openly Christian guy on Tinder.
However, even though the second guy was both a lot kinder and also a Christian, we still didn't "click. Perhaps it was our age difference, perhaps it was our different backgrounds I'm not really sure. You can learn facts about them, sure, but getting a sense of their actual personality and demeanor is a different story. A couple of my best friends strongly encouraged me to delete the app after my second date. They saw how bummed out I was from both of these experience, and thought that even though Tinder wasn't an obsession for me, it was still bringing more negativity then positivity into my life.
And I realized that they were right!
The Teaching Ministry of Mark Ballenger
So now that I have shared my experiences with Tinder: It isn't always a bad thing. I honestly think that it is pretty cool that we live in a society that's technologically advanced enough to have dating apps like Tinder around! I do know of people, both in Maine and North Carolina, who have gotten into actual lasting relationships thanks to Tinder.
So it's definitely not all bad. However, while I do think that giving it a try and seeing how it works for you isn't a bad thing, it needs to be treated with caution. Both for the obvious safety reasons, but also to protect your emotions and heart. I didn't let myself develop strong feelings for guys that I was just talking to on an app, so I thought that I would be totally fine with it all, but I never even considered how much it would disappoint me when both of my dates didn't go well!
A Christian Perspective of Online Dating
Just like my friends told me, if Tinder is bringing more negativity then positivity into your life, it might be time to re-evaluate why you need the app. This post is titled "A Christian Perspective on Tinder" since I am a Christian, so my last piece of advice regarding Tinder or any online dating is to pray about it! God will give you a sense of peace if the timing is right. Lastly- possibly my favorite thing about Tinder Real Tinder users submit screenshots to this app of conversations gone wrong , and honestly it is the funniest thing in the world.
If the social, emotional, spiritual dimensions are missing or lacking, you are out of balance. You should respect and honor each other. If you are a teen, you must honor your parents and respect their counsel Ephesians 6: You are subject to parental authority. Linda Mintle is a author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years in psychotherapy practice.
For more articles and info, visit www.
- Charisma Magazine.
- Recently On Singles.
- 10 “Red-Flag People” Christians Shouldn’t Date.
The Christian Broadcasting Network. Are you seeking answers in life? Are you facing a difficult situation?