Tips for dating a bipolar person
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Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. I must admit that this is a horrible story. Who can blame you for feeling betrayed and confused. Perhaps it would help to try and think of it this way: As for your sister, that is a lot more complicated. You and your family had good intentions towards your sister. Well, do you remember the old saying that "Hell is paved with good intentions?
Another way of stating this concept is to use the term "Enabling. It is true that she has a Bipolar Disorder and that is serious. Of course, there are varying levels of severity for that disorder. If she her mood swings are accompanied by audio visual hallucinations then we refer to the illness as Bipolar with Psychotic features or Schizoaffective Disorder. Either way, those symptoms are extremely serious. That is not to minimize the impact of Bipolar Disorder without psychotic features as the Mania and the Depression can be extremely dangerous.
There is help for your sister in the mental health community without you and your family expending huge sums of your money to support her. SSI would qualify her for Medicare and Medicaid, both of which would cover her treatment for this psychiatric condition.
If she refuses this type of help then the consequences need to be her own. I sense that it was with some naivete that you and your family thought that it would be wonderful to help her. Having a Bipolar Disorder does not prevent a person from being manipulative and selfish. In fact, having that disorder often means that the person carries a personality disorder diagnosis.
I regret the fact that you have been badly hurt by your sister but I hope that it has helped you learn a lesson about "good intentions.
When you talk to your date, is he or she interested in getting to know you, or talk only about themselves? This is a tell-tale sign that you will feel invisible in the relationship.
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If you felt invisible in your family, you might take this for granted. You could possibly feel validated by the attention you give as a good listener. Beware that this pattern will likely continue. As mentioned above, some narcissists are skilled communicators and will appear fascinated by you, even mirror your interests to make you like them. Be aware of other signs of lack of consideration: This is revealed in their behavior and how they talk about themselves and others. Is your date a fault-finder who criticizes or blames others, the opposite sex, or an ex?
One day he or she may be bashing you. When you go out, notice how he or she treats waitresses, car hops, and vendors. Does he or she show other people respect, or act superior to other certain groups, such as minorities, immigrants, or people of less means or education? Narcissists like to be associated with high-status people and institutions.
How Do You Recover from Dating a Narcissist?
This is due to insecurity. Does your date think only his or her school is the best, and require the best car, the best table at the best restaurant, the finest wines, and wear expensive labels, or name drop public figures they know? This may impress you, but will later depress you when you feel ignored or like a prop in their life.
This trait is a give-away.
5 Red Flags and Blind Spots in Dating a Narcissist
A relationship with this person will be painfully one-sided, not a two-way street. Narcissists are only interested in getting what they want and making the relationship work for them. Hence, they need constant validation, appreciation, and recognition. They seek this by bragging about themselves and their accomplishments. They may even lie or exaggerate.
People who brag are trying to convince themselves and you of their greatness. Narcissists put their needs first. They may manipulate you with flattery, belittling, or threats. Their lack empathy may show when planning a date. Listen to what your dates say about themselves and past relationships. Do they take responsibility or blame other people?
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Pay attention if they admit to serious shortcomings, commitment issues, infidelity, criminality, addiction, or abuse. Equally important, notice if you feel anxious or uncomfortable, pressured, controlled, ignored, or belittled.