Really it was an incredible journey In this last year, I have dated alot Not because I am a serial dater but because I am trying to find someone that mutually fits. The more you date the more you realize what you are actually looking for Sometimes it just doesn't work. Thanks for all the feedback. It is helpful to hear it because we all have our own experiences that may give more insight.
I also liked Melissa's response to Cappy--she can hang.
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It's one more piece of evidence that you don't have to wait around for some guy who doesn't realize how great you are. Seriously, I know it's hard, but keep this guy in your past and over time it will get easier. After seeing some other responses I had one additional comment.
You mentioned that the more you date the more you find out what you're looking for, etc. Why not just hold off a bit and see what happens? I met my wife by chance, not via a date and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It sounds like you're trying to date to force yourself to find someone. You'll probably end up hurting others by doing so. I just noticed this post and I had to reply before heading out. I could be naive here but as far as I know he was not screwing someone else after he left me I admit we had sex occassionally but we went out far more than we had sex.
We had discussions about it and said we would discuss it if that happened I know it is difficult for others to understand and when you are not caught up in it you can see things from a different perspective.
So, maybe I shouldn't have gone along with it, but I did and I feel no regret Don't laugh at me If you're looking in the bakery window watch someone buy the last canoli, don't sit there and wait too long watching, you'll miss the bus taking you to a better bakery. I'm sorry, but there are not a metric ton of nice guys out there.
The world is filled with mouthbreathing idiots hell bent on your zipper. Don't believe any different. You say that he was something really special and you two really clicked. Well, the danger is in thinking that you'll never, ever meet someone like that again.
It's hard to find the right person, but 1 he just isn't the right person for you and 2 there are other fish in the sea - someone very special will come along some day. I would never date somebody knowing they were dating somebody else. I suggest you wait until you find somebody to like who likes and respects you enough to give you all his care and attention. Maybe it was because you "did not go there all the time" when it came to sex and she did. Keep him as a friend, but date other guys. If he really wants to be with you, he'll make it happen.
That's what a lot of us don't understand.
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When a guy a really wants you and to be in a relationship with you, you will know. Don't waste your time with a perpetual time waster. Trust me girl, I have one in my life, too. But we're just friends, and I date other people. If he can't see how awesome I am, then that's his loss. You should feel the same. Fuck him and live your life, girl!
Nothing to advise on, he picked someone else and said a bunch of nice things to let you down easy.
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Sucks but you gotta move on. Give me a break. This guy played you like a fiddle.
What kind of guy dates two women at the same time? A guy you supposedly fell hard for I guess. And he basically said you don't have to be his friend, but you still think he cares a lot about you? So you had fun, there are other guys you can have fun with. I completely agree with Matt's response The first thing he did wrong is date two women at the same time. That's where you should have stopped, but curiosity is a killer sometimes! When crappy things like this happen to me, knowing one thing always makes me feel better. What if you actually ended up with him?
Do you really want to be with someone that may be dating you and someone else at the same time? Realistically, you would've been played pretty hard. Don't be with someone like that. Yes definitely just do what you have to do to move on.
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Call it ego if you want but it was a fact, it was harder. When I finally ended it by moving out and calling it quits and standing my ground, it was a lot easier. So take control however you need to and keep plugging along I have no advice on what to do because he already made the decision.
He may like you as a friend and think you're an amazing person, but he's made it crystal clear that he doesn't see it as anything else. You will find a great guy, just as, if not more amazing, but you have to let this one go. He's not worth the time even thinking about him. Be single, have fun, and date other guys. Sometimes when we're lonely and nobody is in the picture, we convince ourselves that the one guy lingering around is the one we want to be with. Take a step back and look at the whole situation from an outsider's perspective. Is this really the person you want to end up with?
You want to be somebody's second choice? In the future, you shouldn't be OK with a guy that has a girlfriend on the side. You will get hurt. This guy doesn't care about you, or the other girl. The reason you felt so comfortable around him is because it's a big game to him. He's a master at manipulating women, he cares nothing for them, so he's at total ease. No one is really in the place to tell you what you should be okay with. If it works for you it works for you no matter who understands it.
I think its not secret that the average person would see a situation that starts like this most likely ending badly Okay so really this thread is old and the OP is probs gone, but I disagree with the whole "don't date people who are dating other people" bit. I mean, you're not going to ask for a commitment on the first date, and until you've had some sort of conversation about exclusivity and monogamy you shouldn't expect it. And I also disagree that you have to withhold sex as some precious little gift to only be opened in a monogamous relationship.
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That said, if he's telling you about the other women from the get go in detail, that's probably not a good sign. And despite my firm stance on individuals doing whatever the hell they want to do until such time as it's mutally agreed otherwise, odds are good, if he's really into you, there won't be time for anyone else. I know I work that way.