A DTR talk is also needed when there are problems in the relationship. If you know more about a girl than most guy friends should know because the two of you talk on the phone every day for hours, it probably means you need to have a DTR talk. Rather you just want to act in wisdom.
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Some people might need to be friends for years before the chemistry and season is right to start dating. Other people may meet and instantly want to go on a date. You should define the relationship when you need to. In other words, something probably went wrong if you decide to have a DTR talk but the other person was surprised when you did this. You should only have a DTR talk when one is obviously needed. If you just like someone and you are not sure if they like you back, I would just ask them out and see what they say.
To have a big DTR talk is probably overkill in a situation like that. I think there are different levels of DTR talks. The key is to not have too serious of a talk or too lighthearted a talk for the relationship at hand. If you just met a guy last week, having a big DTR talk will probably weird him out.
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I think the first DTR talk Christians should have should occur at the beginning of the dating relationship. Once you have clarified if you want to actually be a boyfriend and girlfriend, I think it is also important to define your intentions for this dating season together. I think the most biblical purpose for dating is to find a spouse.
Dating just to date usually leads to sin. If you know you are not ready to be married at all, then why date at all? We are intentional beings. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going.
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Dating is no different. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you.
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Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. Dating is more intimate. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability.
So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. He is the pie. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse. This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries.
The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. Marry someone who loves Jesus.
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And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Yes…this is a primary value.
10 Principles For Christian Dating That Will Transform Lives
If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? No…this is a secondary value. Ever handled a shotgun? If not, let me fill you in. If the social, emotional, spiritual dimensions are missing or lacking, you are out of balance.
You should respect and honor each other.
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If you are a teen, you must honor your parents and respect their counsel Ephesians 6: You are subject to parental authority. Linda Mintle is a author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years in psychotherapy practice.
For more articles and info, visit www. The Christian Broadcasting Network. Are you seeking answers in life? Are you facing a difficult situation? Call Email your prayer request. God's Best or All the Rest?