When I confirmed it, I asked him why he was surprised.
Dating a Virgin 101
I guess I just thought it would have happened for you already. That was the best time. More than that, I trusted him not to pressure me, and it was actually his idea to wait until we were absolutely sure about each other. When that time never came, I was in the unexpected position of not wanting to wait anymore.
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The last time I told a guy I was a virgin, it was via text. I was in a post-breakup downswing of emotions so I probably should have kicked him to the curb a lot sooner, but when the subject of sexual partners came up, I was craving acceptance enough to tell him—a virtual stranger—that I was still a virgin. He did not take it well. And then he so gallantly offered himself for the task of taking my virginity, with one stipulation: At that time, I wished there were a middle-finger emoji to send him.
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But I also just felt drowned in shame and embarrassment, and despair that I would ever again be in a position to not feel that way about my virgin status. From Our Readers February 03, Despite what you may think, abstaining has not made me a miserable, lonely, pleasure-deprived shell of a person.
Nor am I anti-sex. I cannot wait to have sex someday.
When guys find out I'm a virgin | pcppk.com
Right now, however, I appreciate — and even take pride in — my virginity. It separates me from other women. Every guy reacts differently to the No Sex bomb.
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Some play it cool while calculating how to coerce me into changing my mind. Some fake acceptance — and then bail a few dates later. And some truly give celibacy their best shot before breaking down and, yep, bailing. At the time of The Chat, Boy One and I had been on two official dates, but had liked each other for a lot longer. We were making out on my couch when he went to unbutton my jeans — which was about seven steps beyond what I was ready for, and my body language told him as much.
He awkwardly apologized, I awkwardly said it was fine, and we kept kissing, awkwardly. Instead of just sucking it up and telling Boy One why I was being so weird, I decided to be extremely mature and wait until he had left to text him asking if we could talk.
Male virginity can be awkward, sexy
He called me and I spent the next half-hour mumbling and stuttering out the truth. Unfortunately, because Boy One fell into the celibacy-then-bail category, it was just a matter of time — three months — before the truth came tumbling out. Our relationship ended in a drunken yelling match that spanned from my withholding physical affection his words to his withholding emotional intimacy my words to us not communicating, period.
Turns out, the sex thing mattered.
Boy Two was the polar opposite of Boy One: We lasted about two months before I bailed. Boy Three really threw me for a loop. At first, this was attractive: Once I figured out what it was he wanted, however — a wife who would bear his children, iron his clothes, laugh at his jokes and agree with him at all times — it was awful.
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The thing that threw me was how much he pressured me sexually. I stuck around far too long with Boy Three, but when I finally did leave, it was with renewed determination to hang on to my virginity, even if it meant waiting a lifetime.
It drives me crazy when he whispers in my ear and teases me in all the right ways.