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Please try again later. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. While this is not the best written book I've ever come across, I have to give it 5 stars because the author fully understands all the major and most of the minor, dynamics in an affair. The book is mainly addressed to the most common participant in an affair -- the unmarried woman. She takes the affair stage by stage and carefully analyzes the what, why and how at each juncture. Patience is needed with the writing style and multiple editorial gaffes, but the book contains loads of wisdom and a POV about affairs that is hardheaded and realistic and -- at the same time -- one that you'll NEVER get reading articles about infidelity on the internet, or anywhere.
I've read book upon book on this subject for personal reasons and for content, this is one of the best. I have a feeling I know where and how the author collected her subject material, and she used a great source. If you're an unmarried woman in an affair with a married man and you want to understand the truth of what's happening -- read this book. If you want something to motivate you to end it -- read this book. If you don't want to get out of it, but you need to know what things will make it better or worse -- read this book.
I can only say that if there were more books like this published, there would be a lot less cheating. Bravo to this author for tackling a tough subject and applying great insight and common sense! I am no longer left wondering whether any woman out there comtemplating entering into a relationship with a married man would read this and think twice Does one have to go through 'each stage' to finally gain insight?
I gained an enormous amount from reading this book.
10 Reasons Not to Date a Married Man
I read this not as a 'mistress' - but as a wife From my perspective the insights you wrote about were comforting and alarming too. It has given me yet more 'food for thought' on the subject. I bought this book because I was seeing a young married man in the middle of a divorce so I thought I could possibly relate to some of the stories in the book. Unfortunately, I did not.
A lot of these women have more severe problems than I did, seeing men who had been in long-term marriages with children, etc. I would definitely advise trying to read another book about these sort of issues. I think it is poorly written. I bought this based on the five star reviews here and I do not believe they are genuine. This is not a book but a printout of an incoherent rambling "article" by someone unfamiliar with basic grammar or Word processing. It appears that the book is not published but rather my copy was printed specifically to fulfill my order as the back page states "Made in the USA, Lexington, KY, [order date] ".
It is printed in a very large font - in fact, several different fonts with inconsistent paragraph spacing - with generous margins to make it look thicker, unsuccessfully. The "article" is followed by a collection of posts from a website which are not particularly enlightening and which anyone should be able to read online for free. One of the posts is duplicated as the author must have been in a rush to put this work of literature in production.
This was a wonderful book, it gave me a better understanding of my current situation. After reading I realized that my situation is not special and other people think the same way I did.
Many people won't understand our perspective and criticize everything about the other woman. Only if they could understand that we have been taken advantage of also! I complicated my situation more by having a baby My advice, stay away from a married man!
MUST READ: ADVICE TO YOUNG GIRLS THAT DATE MARRIED MEN! ( write up by Olusola Abayomi ) – Trends LT
Highly encourage the betrayed spouse to read this one! I read this as a wife whose husband cheated on her. Like the other reviewer,Karen, it gave me tremendous insight into the other woman and how pathetic and sad she truly was. Furthermore, I had been telling my husband that all of these feelings and emotions were going on too with the other woman, but he simply didn't believe me. He was delusional that this other woman didn't expect anything from him and was very content with the way things were.
I had him read this book too, and it turned out to be a true eye opener for him as well. Looking forward to reading volume two next. Very good insight, and the interviews from women in this situation helped shed some light on a lot of things! One person found this helpful. See all 15 reviews. What other items do customers buy after viewing this item? Rules for Dating a Married Man: She had been in a relationship with a man who was separated from his wife but still married, and was questioning how she felt about it.
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At the end of the piece was a list of sites where women could find married men looking for an affair. Caruana ended up going on 80 dates with 54 men. Most were in their 40s or 50s, and worked in business or finance. There were quite a few estate agents and men who worked in media, too. Almost all had children. Initially, Caruana met them for dinner, but soon realised it was taking too much time and it made her uncomfortable when they insisted on paying.
She felt she should pay half, but as a student, the expense was mounting up. So she started meeting men for coffee or a drink in the pub.
Advice for Dating a Married Man
She also started restricting the dates to one-offs; early on, she met up with some of the men several times, but it was becoming awkward. Caruana was strict about not wanting physical contact with them, but one tried to kiss her on a third date. She realised then that one date was enough.
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Many of them said this was their first time and seemed very nervous, but others were serial adulterers. They had all, however, put a lot of thought into how to have an affair — pseudonyms were used, and every one, she says, had a secret phone. The men knew she was an artist, but none had any idea they were the subject of her work. Then she started using a disposable camera, whipped out on the premise of photographing something on the table.
So many of the men talked about how they could go and have sex with a prostitute, but using those sites was to get something else. There is this fantasy of an affair, and I was able to show the reality — the mundanity, the loneliness. It was just pattern after pattern. Some of the men would talk about sex and be very desire-driven, but there would still be hints of that loneliness. Did she ever feel bad about deceiving them?