I've cried a lot and I couldn't tell him the pain I'm going through because I'm afraid he won't understand any of it. The crucial part is, he sees me as his ex girlfriend, that we are alike in many ways. I am really confused right now and the most frustrating part is I have no one to talk to. I will forever carry this burden with me. We've been together for 4 years already but we can never escape his past.
As what I always come to mind, I choose this and I will be ready for what will happen and what may happen in the later future. His ex didn't leave any note or goodbyes and when she died they we're still together. I was the one who supports him in any ways possible, he would ran to me whenever he has a problem.
Finding Love After Loss: Dating After The Loss of a Partner to Suicide
I just don't know how to cope whenever that certain topic comes up. You can never compete with someone who's already dead. I was with him through his grieving process and glad to say we overcome it. But how can I overcome it? There was media coverage everywhere, associating my partner and her and different speculations and being a witness to all that has definitely taken a toll on me. It has been quite a while since but I still find myself thinking about the harrowing events every now and then. His life fell apart. I cant even imagine how bad he feels.
I fell completely in love with him straight away and moved to a different country to be with him. I sometimes forget that this has happened to him as he doesnt talk to me much about her and his friends dont really mentioned her I have tried to ask but i dont know what is best. He doesnt speak much about it.
I told him in a few horrible messages which i regret. I reacted bad and mentioned a celebration which is of course not what I meant. That am also trying to make this about me. I explained that this obviously also affects me. I dont know how to fix it. I dont know what to do. My heart is broken now. I dont like seeing him sad. He doesnt deserve this happening to him. I dont want him to feel guilty for what happened to her and i want to be able to act corrently and be there for him when he needs me.
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment. Sign up for a new account in our community. Already have an account? This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings , otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Join Us on Facebook. Buy on Apple and Google Play. Help for People Left Behind Suicide partner ex girlfriend support grief help confused. Posted April 2, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites. BluebellGirl, You sound like a wonderfully supportive partner.
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Hopefully, others who have experienced similar situations will be able to help more. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it means more than you know. You are doing a good job. Posted April 6, Posted April 7, Thank you for your reply, and I'm so sorry for your pain. Posted April 8, God bless you both. Posted April 16, Posted February 13, I fear that maybe things may have just happened too soon, but things just kind of happened. Posted May 2, Bobo New Here May 13, Hello- Looking for either advice or support.
I am as of this year a suicide survivor in year 4. I have a 18 year old daughter who also suffers from trauma.
Last year in attempt to make my life feel somewhat normal I tried to date again. Big mistake- conflicting and scary.
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I was with my husband for 24 years. He had severe OCD that manifested into deeper issues. I stayed with him I know because of my own childhood traumas- Medical Cancer kidney age 3 - sexual at age one perpetrator a family member - bullying. I would like to think that in my 50's I'm a survivor.
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But after reading so many conversations on here I see that I'm not alone in my difficulty with dating. Its hard to talk about this because I am so masked- so was my spouse until the abuse had escalated into a homicide suicide situation I finally found the courage to leave the abuse. Trying now to find that trusted soul- becomes trying to push them away because you become protective.
You don't want to project on them your damage. Now its not only my damage but my child. She is also on the table. Who wants this-unless to take a little then leave. I've become so blank-I almost feel that after the suicide I have lost my intelligence- I felt the symptoms years prior to the suicide-but that was a huge dismantle.
My spouse left a journal- I carry parts of it on my phone to remind me that I was valuable to him. He created a list of my attributes.
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It hurts to think that I will never feel whole again- he did not make me feel those attributes he held them at arms length. It was a day to day life with him and a history full of damage. I felt locked in his cage and he knew it. I became submissive and stopped fighting for myself. I think one of my fears is that another will do the same.
I grew up this way. Even though on the outside I keep it together-the inside feels so unstable in a fragile way. When a man loses his spouse, whether it is due to divorce or death, he is left without someone with whom he can share his innermost feelings. There is still a societal norm that strong men do not cry and do not show emotions -- and the grieving widower may feel he needs to hide his anguish.
Dating a Widower Whose Wife Committed Suicide
Furthermore, a widower with young children may be left to learn how to be a single parent and assume the responsibilities of both mother and father. Bereaved men face many unique burdens that may interfere with successful future relationships. The most important question that must be dealt with when dating a widower whose wife committed suicide is -- can this man commit to a serious relationship? In order to move on, the widower must be ready to put his feelings for his first wife aside, whether they are good or bad, and focus solely on you.
In the first chapter of his book "Dating a Widower," Keogh maintains that many men in this position begin dating as a way to fill a void. They may stay with women they do not see a future with because it feels good to have a companion again. Keogh recommends checking to see if the widower's actions align with his words. If he tells you that he loves you, does he also show you? Does he take the lead in planning dates, has he put away his wife's things, and is he ready to introduce you to family?