At first they might rub each other the wrong way, as they struggle from time to time to live together comfortably. Like an old pair of slippers, they wear their familiarity in their home together. They get used to each other. The couple can now predict what each other will do and sometimes what each other will say. Life has become predictable. Their life together is safe and secure, and if they can help it, without too many surprises.
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After a while, excitement fades and familiarity takes its place. In extreme cases, two people can even start looking alike around the edges.
Don’t Stop ‘Dating’ Your Wife or Husband
If something unpredictable happens that disrupts this security, they resolve the problem as quickly as possible and get right back to their security as soon as possible. A date is exactly what an endless marriage needs to become. Date your wife or husband regularly during the course of your marriage.
Most married couples expect that their experience of falling in love will last for a lifetime. Falling in love needs to happen over and over again for love to last. The only way to make this happen is to keep dating the person you married.
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The Love Life Learning Center is a privately owned and operated online psycho-educational service and has no relationship to or connection with any offline agencies bearing the same name or a similar name that provide services to individuals with love-life problems or other topics related to or unrelated to love life issues, themes, or problems. The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service exclusively for adult men and women who are 21 years old and older.
This service is not intended for children, adolescents, and young adults under the age of twenty-one 21 , with or without parental consent. The Love Life Learning Center is a psycho-educational service with an exclusive focus on love-life problems, solutions, and general love-life learning issues. The Love Life Learning Center is not an adult oriented website for the purpose of fostering adult oriented sexual activities, sexual fantasies, or other related adult-oriented entertainment.
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Decide who is in charge of planning. There are as many ways to divide the planning as there are types of marriages. Here are some ideas to stimulate your thinking:.
Date Ideas for Married Couples
Work together to generate a list of restaurants that fit your budget and that you would both enjoy, then take turns picking a restaurant from the list and making the reservations, etc. Be sure not to use this as a "gotcha" opportunity. If you know your spouse is habitually forgetful about these kinds of things, then volunteer to be the one who always makes the reservation. Or, if you have historically been forgetful about reservations, then you could use this as an opportunity to show your commitment to "date night", your marriage, and your spouse.
When you generate the list of restaurants, also include other activities you could enjoy before or after dinner, such as a movie, a play, a concert, or a walk on the beach. The secret is to always include a meal in a sit-down restaurant in order to create an atmosphere conducive to conversation.
Generate a list of ideas that work for you, depending on the time of your Date Night dinner, dessert, night cap. Then take turns executing your at-home date. Take turns setting the table or the cozy night cap atmosphere. Use the good china and stemware if you've got it. Play music and, most importantly, turn off the television. When it is your turn, avoid being too contrived, but do behave as if you have invited your spouse over to your place and take the lead, while allowing your spouse to help a bit.
If you know your spouse is habitually clumsy in the kitchen or very busy at a new job, let it be ok for him to bring in take out. You might volunteer to pick up something from the store or help a bit with the cooking.
Don’t Stop ‘Dating’ Your Wife or Husband | Love Life Learning Center
And, if you're the one known to stay out of the kitchen, then you could get out of your comfort zone and use this as an opportunity to show your commitment to "date night", your marriage, and your spouse. When you decide on the best format for you Date Night at home, be sure to make it doable, without much negative stress.
There will be a bit of positive stress that accompanies the planning of something you hope your spouse enjoys. Couples with children, often settle on the dessert and night cap option for their weekly at home date night.
Either way, the point is to create a time for just the two of you to talk, to relax, and to show love and support for one another. So, whether it is your at-home Date Night or your monthly Date Night out, invest some time in refreshing your personal appearance. At home, take a few minutes to wash up, spruce up and present your best "at home, relaxed" self. For going out, do your best version of a date-night primp routine.
Present your best self, as you would have for a special mid-courtship date night. Have fun with it. You'll be surprised how luxurious that can feel to a busy wife and how transformative it can be for her. Whatever your relationship configuration, make sure Date Night out preparation adds anticipation, not anxiety to your date. Turn off your cell phone during Date Night.
Don’t Stop ‘Dating’ Your Wife or Husband
If you have small children and are truly not artificially worried about your babysitter being able to contact you, then put your phone on Do Not Disturb and only let the babysitter call come through. The most important tip of all is to plan your Date Night conversation. If you want to avoid slipping into a night of talk about the kid's antics, the household chores, and other logistics, you must have conversational starters at the ready. You also need to be adept at gently changing the subject when your spouse starts taking about laundry, carpooling, home maintenance, or grocery lists.
So, make a list. And, yes, write it down. Write it down and then either commit it to memory or have a cheat-sheet in your pocket.