I just wish there was more I could do, ya know? Do you like making out?
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If not, I could seductively come up behind you and teach you. I like being big spoon. What were we talking about?
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Also, checking out an adult film on my laptop and calling my friend derogatory names. One time I threw a football so hard, I almost dropped my whiskey, but I was able to catch it with my elephant trunk of a penis. A collection of opening lines that are actually funny and actually work on all forms of social media, from Instagram to Tinder to Bumble.
29 Funny Opening Lines That Actually Work
You see someone cute across the room that you'd like to talk to, maybe get to know a little bit better, but don't know what to say to them. That's where we come in!
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We've created a list of 29 great funny opening lines for online dating for you to use the next time someone catches your interest. Best of all - these opening lines actually work!
29 Funny Opening Lines For Online Dating That Actually Work
Even if you don't make a connection, you're sure to get a laugh out of them and maybe make their night. The best part about speed dating is having new guys to drink with, and none of them are keeping track of how many drinks you've had. My boyfriend does this cute thing where he files for a restraining order.
I made out with your brother once God that feels good to get off my chest.
You just want to have sex with me. My girlfriend said I was too controlling, and it wasn't her turn to speak.
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An online dating site for really old people called Carbon Dating. Hi mom and dad, meet my new boyfriend, Netflix - Swishergirl Swishergirl Told a girl she's more attractive when she's not wearing glasses and she said I'm also more attractive when she's not wearing glasses. Who would make that up?
I would make that up. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. On the list of great inventions, it ranks higher than the Thermos bottle and the Airstream trailer; higher, even, than room service. The main lesson I took from Lady and the Tramp is that dating below your station might result in someone who can get you free spaghetti. Click here to get the skinny!