Dark countries, too, in the physical sense. With less sunlight and less vitamin D, libidos are not at an all-time high. Internet addiction is a new, potentially huge issue for Scandinavian people. Tinder appeals to the ego big time. A lot can be said about what that does to relationship quality and our ability to function as social beings.
I can recommend this one to start. But honestly, there are just two tips for using Tinder in Scandinavia and the rest is strategies to implement them. I am not your mom giving you a pep talk on the first day of school. Just do you, real friends will love you for it. Of course, a real relationship should mean acceptance and love for who you are.
But everyone lies a bit at first. The first is simply putting your best foot forward. Just like you will not outright lie at a job interview or would you…? The key is to twist the relevant information in a very flattering way. Another job seeking example to illustrate:. You lost your job and you have been unemployed for a year. You tell your future employer about the community work you did, the courses you took to improve your skills, and the freelance jobs you took up. You embellish the truth and use nice phrases.
Another strategy that will help in that domain is self-irony. Either way, all jerks take themselves super seriously. Only 13 to go. Tinder feels like a game because it is a game. Showing emotions is scary stuff! You are so right about that. It would go both ways. I know that it has happened to a lot of my friends and it always worked out fine. Welcome to the party? I think for me, it would probably depend on how large the bed is and their state of undress. Small bed, lack of clothing? I can relate to that.
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I just wonder who found this blog post. I was so surprised to have this huge wave of people reading and commenting. I think i may have been the one to reanimate the party. A friend sent me a link and I shared it with some facepages for international students and expats in Norway, sort of as a crash course in dating Norwegians.
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You are spot on thyra. You may have heard of it? I would say this is where our cultures differ drastically. It would be grounds for divorce or separation, because it is something that is simply not done here. I remember when I was 18 and living in California and I was invited out on my first date — a blind date set up by my American family. I think I left him pretty frustrated because, looking back, I probably broke each and every rule there was.
I was mortified when he paid the bill — and even more so when he started talking about marriage in a very casual way. I think it was his way of showing he was serious and also wanting to let me know he was looking for a wife and that this was the point of dating for him. He was ten years my senior and therefor at another place in life.
I think he had the idea that I was some kind of meek foreigner who would make a good wife and I had NO idea what was going on. But I can certainly see how a few rules can make it easier because you will know what is going on and what is expected. Hehe, so no sleeping with your husband.
Meet Norwegians on the Internet, they are very good people. Naive and easy to trick. But good.
So I ended up back in his bed — sleeping and nothing else — and him getting me home the next day. Ahh now I get it. Must have king size beds too. The bed my husband and I shared when we were just friends was only 70 centimeters wide.
I totally agree with Suki, because here things are very different from Scandinavia and more similar to US movies. And The courtship part can be a magical moment for women, but may be a bit difficult for men. LOL Yeah, there is no right or wrong. I live in Canada.
We have that movie form of dating here, and I have been on quite a few of those. Frankly, I agree it can be a bit uncomfortable. There are some creeps who think that if they pay for an expensive evening, and go the whole 9 yards with the fancy treatment, that you owe them some sort of sexual compensation. It can sometimes be linked to religion, but it can also just be part of the culture. I have always thought dating was a crap way to meet anyone special. It just seems to make sense to me that that is how you would find a good life partner so I think you guys have it right.
The only thing that concerns me is the dependency on alcohol to bypass social awkwardness. I am really curious, though, how all this gender equality plays out if a mother wants to stay home with her children? Also, the Millenium Trilogy of books talked about rampant misogyny. Is this mere fiction or is there still an element of that?
At least not less-less than if a man had the same. People who have sex just to heighten their self-esteem, for instance. People who brag about the sex are frowned upon but people who just talk about it in an honest way are not. I have a colleague who will entertain us regularly with her latest lovers and the advantages and disadvantages with each one of them.
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This may be different in some parts of Scandinavia. We do have some pretty religious areas where the attitude might be different. You point at something that has often been brought up here: Do people frown upon women who choose to stay at home with their kids? And the answer is probably yes. So the free choice is not entirely there. On the other hand, our low working hours 7,5 hours a day , long vacations five weeks , flexible hours in many jobs and all the rights we have to be home with sick kids etc, make it entirely possible for both parents to both have jobs and be with their kids.
When our kids were small my husband and I worked like this: I went to work at 7 and left at 2: My husband went to work at 9 so he could leave the kids at the day care center at 8: He would leave his job at 4: So the kids would only be at the daycare from 8: Now our kids are older and walk to and from school themselves so both my husband and I will work the 9 to 4: Yup, our dependency on alcohol to make any kinds of moves on people we fancy will probably be our downfall. Thats interesting to hear. I have a friend who seems to think if she moves to Sweden she will be able to be a stay at home mum because they have more social help than in Puerto Rico and that the government will provide a nanny for her as well.
So I find it interesting that you say being a stay at home mum is looked down upon. Same goes with getting big suitcases up in the overhead compartments on trains — you might struggle and strain your back and five young and able guys would never even look up from their phones to ask if you need help. I actually have a colleague who got into an argument because a young guy gave up his seat for her and she was really annoyed and angry with him.
I know this is an old post, but I just wanted to say that I found it incredibly informative. In my experience relationships in Australia that begin with sex but lead to other forms of spending time together are generally regarded as casual until both people agree on being exclusive or being in a relationship. This appears to be where the cultural differences have began to emerge.