If he's ever in a pickle, he just pulls out mom's credit card to pay for the meal or takes care of some of his debt. If he needs someone to watch his dog for the weekend while he goes away, he calls his mom and she happily does it. She babies him in order to keep him close and he takes full advantage of it. No one wants to be called a mama's boy. When you tell him, in a kind way, that you think he's a bit spoiled, he freaks out and completely shuts down your opinion as he's beyond offended.
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On top of that, he takes whatever you say about his mother personally. Your opinion of her is synonymous with your opinion of him. If you say one thing, he acts as though you're calling his mother and hero a bad parent, even if you were just trying to have a conversation about it. Whenever she hangs around, especially if it's for a long period of time, he starts acting like he's ten years old again.
He complains about a meal at a restaurant he's served when the week before he had the same meal and loved it. He gets road rage even though he's never had road rage before. He asks her to "get him water," or "give him a foot rub," because he's had a long day. He whines about little petty things that didn't even phase him a week ago, including things that you do.
The three of you go out to dinner and the whole time, you can't get a word in. It seems as though you're not even there. If he speaks up, he unknowingly cuts you off. Or, if you do get a word in, he corrects you and takes his mom's side on the matter. They talk about their inside jokes or walk down memory lane. You sit there, bored out of your mind, not caring about a stuffed animal he had when he was three or that time he fell off his bike.
The more you get to know him, the more you realize how stubborn and bratty he can be.
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If things don't go his way, he throws little hissy fits. He gets moody when he's tired and hungry and I'm talking more than regular moody. In order to function properly and be happy, the world has to work for him, not with him. Otherwise, he's one cranky boy. If you say the wrong thing when he's in one of his moods or if you don't cater to him like his mother used to, you become synonymous to the devil for all he's concerned. Whenever he's at your house, he leaves a mess.
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He doesn't put his dishes away or cleans up his trash. He never makes his own bed and hires a cleaning service to clean the rest of his house. He's used to his mother cleaning up after him and doesn't know how to do it himself. He does annoying things like leave a chewed piece of gum on the coffee table instead of standing up to put it in the trash can that's a few feet away. If he doesn't have any food in the pantry, he doesn't go grocery shopping, he orders in to save him the trouble. Just like his mother, you're a strong and independent woman. Everyone that knows both you and her tells you how similar the two of you are, but he refuses to accept it.
He tells you there's no one in the world like his mother and no one could ever replace her. Therefore, there's no way you're anything like her. In that sense, he makes you feel almost competitive with her when really, you think it's sort of sweet in a strange way. After all, you love him so you're thankful to his mom for raising him the way she did. You just wish he would open up his eyes.
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God knows what the poor father has gone through all his life, you can sure believe that as she has worked her will on her son so much throughout his life, the poor husband is now a hen pecked man. Bet he's a quiet man, your future father in law I mean. Marriage is a serious business, two are company, three do not fit into a marriage especially when mother in law is really the boss.
And remember, sooner or later your marriage will grow, children will come along, so when you have finally taken as much as you can, it's not just you and he that get hurt over a failed marriage, the children will suffer too. For you can bet, she will be an excellent grandmother to those kiddies, they will literally adore her, for they are part of him, whereas your just the walking living incubator that extended her family.
You will always sense that she is being two faced to your face but will be stabbing you in the back every time you walk away from her. I think it's great if a guy has a good relationship with his mum. I'm not sure that there's a line to be crossed if we're just talking good relationship with her. Mama's boys are cute. But if you're talking about crossing the line to being still dependent on her for little things like doing his laundry or making his lunch for work Eh, that's a little much I guess. He's chosen you to be his new momma!!
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Competing with his real momma for love and approval. You can't stop smelling stinky socks Con: Otherwise, stay in your place and let GOD. Recently out the military and he moved back home with momma two family flat. Their relationship was different, it seems more storming then loving. When he was in a financial fix she would always have the money to help him out. Now mind you I thought 30ish was too old to be going to momma for money. You see he made damn good money but it went in one hand and out the other in the blink of an eye. With nothing to show for it. I made the mistake of saying just that when she complained about him and the money.
After awhile, I had to ask where is your money going? I almost when down with the ship. My second experience the mother is actually a breath of fresh air compared to my first experience. She speaks and mind our space. Mommas boy you gotta find out what you can deal with and what you cant. You are commenting using your WordPress.
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