I was in my first relationship when I was 15, Lordy did I love him, we dated until I was What that lead to however was me never fully embracing being a whole on my own, without a boyfriend, by choice and happy about it.
Dating Hiatus – The Importance of Taking a Break from Dating and Sex
Which in turn then lead onto somewhat of a minor existential crisis of the person I was and what I wanted from life. This was the beginning of my dating hiatus…. It made me realise that the time I was consuming dealing with dating was getting right in the way of my life. I was focusing vast amounts of care and attention on a potential date whilst forgetting to promote my new fledgling business, or nurturing my wonderful friendships or getting my out of shape ass to the gym. All of this writing lead to me to one simple conclusion; no more dating.
I set myself the time frame of 6 months initially, that was just over a month ago. In that month I have grown my business faster than in the 5 months before combined, I have immersed myself in seeing friends, creating new friendships and above all else spending a huge amount of time with myself, having coffee, going out for dinner, I even went to a lunch time movie last week, alone.
I realised that I was spending hours of my day writing quick witted emails to complete strangers and forgetting to email my friends.
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I honestly dread to think of the hours wasted on online dating sites and apps! Since the dating hiatus began I have; gained three more clients, booked a solo holiday, signed up for some short courses, adopted a puppy and dyed my hair purple…the things you have time for when you are focused on yourself! We promise to pop a whole host of good stuff into your inbox every Wednesday to brighten up your week.
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A dating hiatus means no online dating, no physical dating, no booty calls, no getting together with exes, and certainly no sex. The objective of having a dating hiatus is to give you the ability to return to the dating fold with a different attitude and a renewed vigour for only wanting to engage in relationships with men who are available. Try new places, decline invitations, but also use this as an opportunity to watch the red flags that you normally miss.
If alcohol has influenced your choices, stop drinking for this period. When men do approach, decline dates.
Why a dating hiatus might just be the best
It will feel bad initially, but that passes. If you find it difficult to be alone, this is the time to learn how to enjoy your own company. Spend some time with friends, channel your energy into work, find a new hobby, take a vacation, but ultimately do things that take the focus of being in non-relationships.