Postdoc dating grad student

Grad students dating in same department - success stories? Mostly because your low-stress "free to hang out" days rarely coincide with that of your partner. And you are always helping them deal with essentially similar thing with which you are dealing. Has anyone made it work successfully? I've seen two occurrences where it has worked out, and one case when it crashed and burned pretty badly. I think the key is to be mature and professional and realize ahead of time that things are going to be difficult, and communicate with your partner when these things are happening.

I dated a PhD student when I just started my Masters. It was hard to get space, working only three computers away from each other, while also collaborating on a few projects. That ended in and we have been active friends, though he's now doing a post-doc in another lab. We collaborate scientifically and are happy for one another.

We let each other know when we see interesting opportunities pop up. You'd think I'd learn from that experience A new student started in my lab - first as an undergraduate, then as a junior graduate student. He was exceptionally bright and we ended up getting close. We had many conversations while working. He wanted to date me - I was apprehensive for the obvious reasons, and also for age-related reasons.

We did a four-month "trial period" where we didn't sexually commit or formalize a relationship. Today technically tomorrow we're celebrating our 1 year. I help him rock his graduate school classes and help him plan out his requirements and all the bullshit things our administrative overlords occupy us with.

Can't imagine dating within my lab. I already spend so much time there and would be crazy to see my colleagues outside the lab on a regular basis too. Well it helps that he's a soccer player so he has practice two nights out of the week and at least one game per week. It's probably easier to imagine why'd I'd be cool spending so much time with him, if you factor in his qualities. Having said that, I didn't always know just how perfectly imperfect he'd be for me, and like you I found it hard to imagine it working out especially after my first failed attempt at an intra-lab relationship , which is why we took things slow with the four-month trial period.

They all seem happy enough.

It seems like such a risky endeavor because you still have to see your ex at work if you break up. Happily married with a child here. Doing grad school together was the easy part, the hard part is trying to pursue similar academic careers. Yeah, I thought of that too. Almost seems like it would be really hard to come to a mutual compromise on a post-grad work place we are in somewhat very different fields within my area of study!

I started dating a guy in one of my classes at the beginning of my first semester of grad school. I almost said no initially because I was worried about the awkwardness if we broke up. We studied the same subject so we had classes together pretty much every semester. He quit the Ph. Even without such a policy it is at least unwise. There is an obvious disparity in your "rank" you are an employee and in some sense her instructor, and she is a student. The disparity may not be as great but it essentially the same situation as Pres Clinton and Monica Lewinski. In a purely pragmatic sense this makes for an uneasy environment in the workplace - others will perceive special favors and treatment being exchanged between you two whether it's true or not.

There may be legal implications that go beyond this.

Your Answer

At the very least, wait until she has a different Lab Supervisor, or else completes her degree and you two are professional peers - and even then, workplace romances are often frowned on. Your university almost definitely has a policy on it; you just need to ask the right person to find out what the policy is.

My undergrad university didn't allow it not to say a lot of people didn't just ignore the rule entirely. My grad school does as long as there are no explicit evaluations required from the post doc on the student i. Socially speaking, in my department they wouldn't bat an eye if a post doc started dating a grad student, but most people would think it was inappropriate to date an undergrad. I imagine that's similar in most US institutions. I did it I was a first-year grad student, he was only a more senior grad student. He did not take the breakup well. Every time I'd look up from my bench I'd see him sneering at me, saying rude things about me, trying to hit on sales reps in front of me good luck, dude , etc.

He'd ask vicious questions when I presented in lab meetings. He'd accuse me of misconduct to our advisor. Granted, he was particularly immature about things, but it made the time until he graduated serious hell for me.

How I waste my time

I now have a very strict "no dating labmates" policy, and would recommend the same for everyone. I would ask your department or University. I don't see why it should be, but the university should have a policy or opiniion on this. If you could even be perceived as taking advantage of your superior position, it would be inappropriate. It's better for everybody to avoid the appearance of impropriety. I have been an outside observer to relationships in the lab always peers, never subordinates. It's hard to avoid making friends and developing feelings towards people that you spend so much time around, but in every case that I have encountered, there was a negative aspect to the research and moral of the groups surrounding the romance.

Can you Help me please? Wednesday, April 18, Is it okay to have a relationship in the lab?

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Let me start by saying that I met Dr. Because at that same university there was more than one PI that had a relationship with his grad student and I surely think that that is not okay. There are three types of relationships between people in the lab, with in my opinion various stages of acceptability. BrownEyes and I started dating when we met in our PhD lab. We made sure not to be annoyingly close in the lab, and we also made sure not to be talking about work too much when we were at home.

Luckily, our graduate advisor worked on a whole bunch of different topics, so we had different daily advisors, and we made sure to both go our own way by moving on to post-doc positions in different labs and work on different topics. The second option is when a PI has a relationship with one of the people in his or her lab.