This will work your nerves, leave you moody and unable to enjoy your life.
Do things add up here? Does his story really make sense? Look at your brain as a river of thoughts. A rushing, churning river ready to dart down any new channels it comes across.
4 Tips To Stop Overthinking While Dating
Now your thoughts have more channels to flow through that lead to him or around him. Give it up just like that? Never get to the bottom of it? We just need to try and date in the space between switching off and being able to live without having all the answers. Men do many things that will never make sense to us.
Take ghosting, for example. T here could be dozens of reasons why a guy would go incommunicado after what you thought was a good date:.
www.thetalko.com
He may not even have the self awareness to understand it himself. But worrying about the what-ifs and motivations behind his every move will drive you nuts. This realization is liberating! Relationship nerd that I am, I find that dating strategy often brings up parallels in my mind with war strategy. As the famous Chinese military general Sun Tzu once said: You must log in to post a comment. The innate over thinking anxiety of women: Feminine Overthink Women know all about Feminine Overthink.
More in Love
Examples where Feminine Overthink serves us well: It starts at 7. I've been in relationships before, with women who had different priorities than me. This guy was honest in his Reddit post about his fear of being in a serious, committed relationship and even marrying someone and then having them grow apart.
That's a legit thing to worry about, and it's good to know that guys worry about this, too. This is an easy thing to overthink, but all we can do is think carefully about the person that we're committing to. If we're open and honest and communicate, it's very possible that we can figure it out and stay together. A lot of guys say that their girlfriend or wife is "better" than them. They might say she's smarter or something like that, and they might act like they're joking, but this is the way that a lot of people think. While that might be cute and romantic, there's another side to this way of thinking that's a lot more negative: We would probably all love to tell this guy that he has nothing to worry about and that his girlfriend will stay with him.
It seems like the types of guys who say that their partner is better than them are the good guys that we really want and need to stay with. It's normal to worry that there's someone else who is more attractive or smarter or more talented or whatever it is that we're thinking about, but we need to believe that we're worthy of love. And we need to believe that our love story is going to work out. It sucks that so many people feel like they would rather be in a bad, negative, or just plain dull relationship than be alone. Being single is much better than that, but not everyone thinks that way, and that's why some couples are together for five or more years and are basically miserable the whole time.
- .
- The problem: The innate over thinking anxiety of women: Feminine Overthink.
- .
Some people will be in a relationship and think that their partner is settling for them or just afraid of being on their own. That's a pretty terrible way to think. That she is only with me for either a superficial reason or that I'm a guy that's 'good for now' or better than being alone. According to this guy's Reddit post, some guys do worry that their girlfriend isn't actually all that into them, and that's honestly a pretty heartbreaking thing to hear. We should remember this and always let our boyfriend know how special and important he is to us.
No one should have to feel this way. It's just not fair or necessary and won't lead to a good, happy relationship.
4 Tips To Stop Overthinking While Dating – The Problem With Dating
When we start dating a new guy, we're full of chemistry and passion and life seems almost too good to be true. It's like that montage at the beginning of a movie when the protagonist is walking down the street, listening to a pop song that only she can hear, and she can't believe her good luck. She swears that this is the day that her boyfriend is finally going to propose and things will just be so great. Of course, he'll usually break up with her instead, but she doesn't know it yet. A lot of people wonder if they can keep the spark and romance alive in the relationship.
It's easy in the beginning since you're in the so-called honeymoon period but once reality sets in, it's all chores and busy work schedules and stress, and romance isn't always on the priority list. This guy posted on Reddit that he's scared of complacency in a relationship, so it seems like this is something that guys worry about. Becoming complacent definitely sounds like the worst thing that could happen because then we stop wanting to put the effort into the relationship that we used to and that's just no fun.
Before we fall in love, we probably wonder how we're going to know. When we're single, people always give us advice like "You'll find love when you're not even expecting it to happen" and "When it happens, you'll know" but that doesn't seem super helpful. In fact, we kind of hate hearing that.
Once we do fall in love, we realize that they were telling the honest truth and that we did "just know. It just seemed to happen naturally and everything flowed. This guy posted to Reddi t that he wonders if he won't actually be in love with the person that he's dating or if he'll fall out of love with her. This has happened to him before, so he feels like it could happen again. We can relate to wanting our romantic feelings for our partner to last and for things to finally work out.
Who wants another breakup? It's comforting to know that guys overthink whether they're actually and truly in love since we've probably all had that thought run through our minds. It's funny how our lives change when we get into a serious relationship.
We swear that we're going to be a different kind of girlfriend than ones that we see on TV or in movies or in our friend group. We'll continue being independent and doing what we want. Then we fall in love and, well, all bets are off. Sure, we still want to have our own lives and friendships and everything like that, but we do have to make some compromises.
And we do want to see our boyfriend a lot since, of course, we love him. If we worry about losing our sense of independence when we get into a relationship, we might wonder if guys think about that, too. As it turns out, they totally do, at least according to this guy who posted this on Reddit. He worries about "feeling dependent" in a relationship.
That's definitely a common thing to worry about since no one wants to lose their sense of self and rely on their partner completely. If we've been cheated on, we know that it's not an easy thing to go through or get over. We might think that every guy that we date after that person is going to do the exact same thing, and we might have some trouble trusting again. That makes sense and is totally normal and understandable. Guys think this way too if they have been with someone who was unfaithful, at least according to the guy who posted this on Reddit. This poor guy had two girlfriends who weren't loyal and faithful, and that just sounds super tough to deal with.
Some guys do think about whether the person that they're with is going to not only cheat on them but break up with them and start dating that other guy. It doesn't sound like a pleasant thing to think about, and it's easy to see how people who have unfortunately been in that situation before could really overthink this subject.
All you can really do is believe that you're worthy of love and that not everyone will do this to you, and if you're with the right person, they would never dream of doing this. Relationships can bring out a lot of insecurities. When we're single, we might have the highest self-esteem ever and think that we're pretty great while hopefully still being a nice, polite, decent person, of course. When we meet a guy that we really like, all of that goes away and we second guess and wonder about everything. Does he like the way that our hair looks?
The way that we dress? Was the text message that we just sent super silly or what? I avoid it by avoiding relationships and sabotaging the ones that I do get in to. I wouldn't follow my advice if I were you. This guy was super honest in his Reddit post and said that he feels insecure when he starts dating someone.
- How Overthinking Is Ruining Your Dating Life | Project Inspired!
- speed dating in mauritius?
- How Overthinking Is Ruining Your Dating Life.
- 18 Guys From Reddit Reveal What They Overthink About In Relationships!
It's helpful to hear that he either doesn't get into a relationship or he makes mistakes when he is in one. We definitely have to remember that if someone is dating us, they like us and they like a lot of things about us. Otherwise, they wouldn't be with us, and they would be with someone else. Being insecure and having low self-esteem is only going to cause problems and make both of us unhappy. It's easy to start dating a guy and think that he is so amazing, why is he dating us? Why isn't he with another girl? What could he possibly see in us?
That's also a negative way to think and it's not the road that we should go down. We might assume that guys are just so confident when it comes to dating and relationships and that this kind of thought never crosses their mind, but that's just not true. She chose to be with you just as much as you chose to be with her.
Stop worrying so much, enjoy your time with her, and don't let jealousy cloud your mind.