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Ms Wee Le Fong, 40, a former air stewardess of 11 years, wonders if she has led the lifestyle of a cabin crew member for too long, and is too used to doing things on her own. She is now an administrative associate at a bank. She does not go clubbing and seldom takes the initiative to meet people, prefering to leave such things to chance.


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I sometimes spend weekends with my elder brother and sister and their children," she says. For older people who have had past relationships, there might be another factor that complicates dating: Mr Victor Chua, 50, who runs his own tour operations business, lost his wife seven years ago when she was knocked down by a lorry, leaving behind their son, who was just one then.

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These days, Mr Chua, who mostly finds dates through work, says anyone he has a relationship with has to understand that "my time will not be spent entirely with her. I find I'm more attracted to divorced women who can handle my kid because they have kids too". We might go on those dates for a simple dinner at a cafe, no pubs or discotheques," he says. At the age of 48, fresh out of a year marriage, and with a son who has autism, Mr Wong Ying Yuan decided to try online dating.

Putting his profile picture on an online dating site, he said, was like trying to sell "a second-hand golf set". At social events organised by a dating agency, he found himself sitting across women in their 20s. The adjunct lecturer at Singapore Polytechnic, now 50, has not given up on the search for a life partner.

But he takes a more low-key, relaxed approach now, guided by the philosophy of que sera, sera whatever will be, will be. To help things along, he signed up with CompleteMe, whose services include speed-dating events held in restaurants. But the year-long relationship floundered last year when he brought up the topic of getting engaged. He says that the woman, who was in her early 30s, did not want to take things further, choosing to focus on setting up a beverage business instead.

He tells his dates about his only child Leo, 14, "as early as is convenient", as a future partner "might feel a bit cheated" if he introduced his son to her only when the relationship was getting serious. I must also be able to answer the question, can I trust her when a special needs child is involved?

In fact, because he trusted his ex-wife to do the best she can for Leo, there had been a period when he was reluctant to accept that his marriage was over. So he tried, and is still trying. Perhaps because he had met his ex-wife at a tea organised by the now-defunct SDU Social Development Unit , which was the matchmaking arm of the Government, Mr Wong found that he was "open to matchmaking".

More singles than ever looking for love, Lifestyle News & Top Stories - The Straits Times

On weekends, besides spending time with his son, Mr Wong sometimes volunteers with a group that practises mindfulness. This year, he set up a small shop and cafe in Kathmandu, Nepal, a country that he has visited several times. After the end of her second marriage about five years ago, Ms Shamim Moledina, 68, did not expect that men would approach an older woman like her. She was chatted up by men she met in different situations, including through her club, Singapore Recreation Club, at dinner parties and at community centre events.

Some men sent private messages on Facebook. Once, during what she thought was an innocent tea with a married acquaintance, she realised that he wanted something more when he urged her to call him whenever she felt lonely. Despite these experiences, she has not ruled out dating, but would only go out with people she knows and trusts.

Regarding dating prospects of women her age, she says that while some are lucky in finding a good partner, it can be "scary". Also, some people I know have been conned by men they met online. After the end of her second marriage, which had lasted 22 years, there was a period when she felt "lonely and helpless". I know I get attached very easily. If I go through a break-up, it's hard for me. She is financially independent although she had been a housewife since she was in her 20s.

Her two adult children from her first marriage of 19 years live in France and Britain. She and her second ex-husband, a retired engineer in his 60s, had travelled and played competitive bridge together. Born in Bombay the fourth of six children, she lived in India, England and Pakistan as the family moved on account of her father's work running an import and export business. She "regrets" that she was never allowed to go out with boys for fun. Her first experience of love, as a shy schoolgirl of 18, was conducted mostly through letters. She has had only two long relationships with people she had known previously.

Her first marriage, which ended in divorce, was a matchmade one while her second husband is a relative.

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Two years after she divorced her second husband, they got together briefly again. I had been with him for so many years," she says. She and her ex went on dates like any other couple, having meals together and going to places such as the Botanic Gardens and museums. She "found the strength to end it" when he asked, after two months, if he could date other women as well. Now, she keeps herself busy with bridge at various clubs, as well as ad hoc volunteer projects, such as organising clothes donation drives for foreign workers. She travels a few times a year to visit her son, daughter and other relatives.

If I ever have a man, my whole life would change.


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      So what is stopping them? Mr Wong Ying Yuan, 50, has not given up on the search for a life partner. Ms Shamim Moledina has not ruled out dating but would only go out with people she knows and trusts. Singapore residents who are unmarried , According to local agencies that Channel NewsAsia spoke to, this demand indicates that while mobile-based apps such as Tinder have gained a tremendous following among the younger generation, they have had limited success in courting singles above 30 who tend to prefer offline dating.

      At GaiGai - the matchmaking arm of homegrown dating app Paktor that offers both event-based and one-on-one private dates - the mean age of a member is between 30 and 31, said co-founder Alex Tam.

      The average Paktor user is 25 years old and below. In fact, the offline arm was set up two years ago to meet user demands that Paktor - despite its rising popularity - was struggling to meet.

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      Ms Michelle Goh, founder of events-based agency CompleteMe, described older singles as being more ready to commit and settle down. Hence dating events, which allow for face-to-face interaction, have been viewed as a better way for singles to find like-minded individuals. According to managing director Anisa Hassan, the agency now has an active member base of 5, people and attracts an average of new customers a year.

      Apart from singles, the agency also has divorced or widowed clients who are willing to take a second chance at love but remain hesitant about putting themselves out there. These are managing directors or CEOs who wanted me to go out and be their ears and eyes on the ground … this is a human-intensive process that dating apps cannot do. While apps are there to disrupt, dating still requires the personal touch.

      We may be low-tech but we are high-touch. Some dating agencies have also taken on what they call an "activity-based approach" to event ideas - a move aimed at wooing singles who remain intimidated by formal dates with strangers and fun-loving somethings. CompleteMe, which has made its name in organising speed-dating events for the past seven years, has also introduced board gaming, karaoke and most recently, volunteering sessions to its mix.